Over the
Hill or Reaching Life’s Mountaintop?
by Darla
Isackson
At his 80th
birthday party, beloved teacher Ivan Barrett made quite an announcement.
He said that the work of a reputable research team has proven
that those who have the most birthdays live the longest! That
message came to me poignantly last week when a friend my age passed
away three days before my birthday. I’ve never been bothered by
birthdays, but this one caused me great introspection because
my friend who just turned sixty a few months ago will never see
sixty-one.
Sunrise,
Sunset
Suddenly the
temporary nature of my time on earth seems very real, the “dust
to dust” nature of my body clearly evident. What vulnerable, fragile
houses our bodies are for our resilient, immortal spirits. I remember
reading something like that when the Challenger crew died in an
instant due to some tiny defect in the spaceship they were trusting
their lives to. I revisited those thoughts on 9-11 and recently
when the Columbia crew was lost.
Whether our
bodies are suddenly shattered or are merely subject to the moment
by moment entropy that leads to deterioration and death, mortal
life is so temporary, so limited in scope, so uncertain. When
I was young, my life spread out before me like a never-ending
path of adventure and intrigue. Sunrise, sunset . . . Swiftly
fly the years . . . and now I count every year a bonus. No wonder
I feel such a sense of urgency, such a sense of needing to love
more fully, live more abundantly, and to complete whatever is
still unfinished of my mission on earth. I wish I could remember
to treasure each hour, appreciating the gifts of time and choice.
I want to transcend the nonsense, maintain my sense of humor,
and recognize the vast value of each passing minute. My goal is
to say each morning “this is the day the Lord has made. I will
rejoice and be glad in it.”
I want to spend
a lot of my remaining hours on things no one else but me could
do--leave the rest to others younger and more energetic. No one
else can record what I have learned or document my life experiences
or glean from my files the words most meaningful to me. No one
else is likely to take “matter unorganized”--my countless stacks
of photos--and finish the picture histories of myself and my family
that I’ve started. There is no time to lose, but I must not set
aside living in order to record my life! I have adorable grandchildren
who need my loving care, grown children dear to my heart, a husband
who enjoys my attention, friends who need my encouragement. I
must leave my mind and heart open and receptive to God’s quiet
prompting. He may at any moment present new divine priorities.
Only the Holy Spirit can whisper how I should spend my time in
a way I will not regret.
Although it
may seem trite to say we can make the sunset of our lives as colorful
and beautiful as the sunrise, I believe that is true. We have
so many more shades of color to work with as life unfolds, so
much more appreciation for the variations, so many more years
of experience in choosing from a full palette which colors we
want to splash on our individual sky. The longer I paint my own
pictures, the more I realize that life is so much more about being
than doing, and that many sunsets I perceived earlier as
losses I now see as blessings that continue to enrich my life.
Loss or
Gain?
Victor Frankl
said, “What you have experienced, no power on earth can take
from you. Not only our experiences, but all we have done, whatever
great thoughts we may have had, and all we have suffered, all
this is not lost, though it is past . . . Having been is also
a kind of being, and perhaps the surest kind.” Thinking of this,
I wrote:
Those who
define their lives by Do-ing
Grow old
with sighs and moans . . .
Wiser folks
bless each advancing year,
Accept
diminished muscle mass as trade-off for soul strength.
They may
lose hearing, sight, possessions, family members, health;
But with
each loss gain greater grip on Be-ing.
While the
dim, fickle paintbrush of “I can do” slows steadily,
“I am”
paints colors richer, brighter deeper ‘til life’s last breath.
Ardis Whitman
said “The years are like a diamond cutter, striking away the shapelessness,
leaving behind the essence of the self. They teach us to be responsible
and adequate and reasonably brave.” I need all the bravery I can
get as I face life’s inevitable losses. Still, even the label
“loss” is a matter of perspective. One fine, clear day I wrote
Some
Days I Think All Life is Loss
Lamenting
length of loss
I grieve
shattered dreams and disillusion,
failure
to create “ideals.”
I mourn
lost times with children flown . . .
No more
angel-faced infants making soft sounds of satisfaction,
toddlers giggling gaily, delighted with discovery,
winsome smiles when baby teeth are lost,
No more
school triumphs, little league, music lessons,
teenage exuberance, high expectations.
All too
soon my dreams and children flew the nest,
Leaving
razor-sharp regret; is sorrow my bequest?
On Wiser Days I Know All Life is Gain
I sigh
with deep contentment at each heart-held rich memory--
All mine
to savor any time I choose--
I miss
my babies, yet I wouldn’t wish the old days back;
With each
age and stage come new and precious ways we’ve grown.
Great compensations
for each loss--
What I
have now exceeds all joys I’ve known:
freedom
to choose how I spend my hours,
satin-skinned
grandbabies to cuddle and coo over,
time to
pursue creative dreams, sort out memories, embrace peaceful living.
Each year
past brings more life, awareness, hope.
Freedom
from illusion as I embrace more truth.
The golden
years of life are truly better than the rest . . .
Perspective’s
wondrous gifts are heaven-blest.
I love Madeline
L’Engle’s idea that “The great thing about getting older is that
you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” Sometimes I might
wish I could lose some of the ages I’ve been, but then
I remember President Hinckley’s words, “Spare yourselves from
the indulgence of self-pity. It is always self-defeating. Subdue
the negative and emphasize the positive. Count your blessings
and not your problems.”
Great Blessings
In Our Later Years
I’m finding
it easier to recognize and count all the blessings of my life,
and finding so many reasons I’m glad to be the age I am. When
we are young, the still small voice, so gentle, so quiet, is often
drowned out, smothered by the constant clouds of daily demands
and our struggle to prove ourselves, find ourselves. As we grow
older, we tend to slow down, take more time to listen and understand.
Our later years are enhanced by all we’ve learned of the universe,
all we’ve felt and experienced of the human heart and the Lord’s
influence on our lives. The schoolmasters of pain, grief, and
joy have given us something to share with the world that we didn’t
have when we were young. For instance, after she became a widow
Berta Lemke wrote:
“Having the blessings of a long life I have learned:
Ardis Whitman
said, “The last third of life can illuminate all the rest of it--illuminate,
crown and shape it. Through these years, the inner light can grow
from one candlepower to the blaze of the sun, warming and blessing
everyone around you. There is a treasure in the older years, a
treasure infinitely valuable. And when we acknowledge it and use
it, we not only help ourselves but contribute immensely to the
world. For by our individual prayers, our search for the kingdom
of heaven, we help to sustain and nourish the growing of the spirit
for all mankind.”
Hopefully, the
pinnacle of all we learn as we move along life’s path is that
whatever the question, Christ is the answer. As we look back on
decades of events and feelings, we see that each life is tied
to the network of The Savior’s infinite plan for his children,
that what we do affects others, who affect still others. We finally
comprehend the inevitable cycle of life and death. Our fear of
dying is replaced by our fear that we will stop growing before
we die. Because growing is painful at any age, it is a temptation
to drift along, cling to memories, avoid stretching and seeing,
repenting and becoming a new creature in Christ. But in the Lord’s
plan all nature--including his children--keeps growing. If we
turn away from growth, we turn away from Him.
Though our physical
eyesight may dim in our later years, and we may not hear as well,
if we are anxiously engaged in spiritual growth, our spiritual
eyes will open wider, our spiritual ears grow more attuned to
the word of the Lord and more likely to hear his will. We can
choose to keep growing and remain truly alive by making the most
of whatever we have left to work with physically, and rejoicing
in our gains spiritually. There is always something new trying
to emerge in our lives if we cooperate the tiniest bit. Though
we know that death, when it come, is nothing more than continuing
the growing and becoming in a different setting, there is something
infinitely precious about every day we’re given here in mortality.
If we open up our hearts on a daily basis, the older we become
the more loving, appreciative, and forgiving we become. Turning
to Christ and growing in all the Godly attributes is what life
is all about. Praise be to God when we are given more years to
keep that growth cycle going.
Note:
Pre-Mother’s Day sale on Darla’s tapes and booklet--the most down-to-earth,
uplifting gifts for any mom. Call Rosehaven Publishing
toll-free at: 1-888-790-7040 or go to their web page: www.rosehavenpublishing.com
for:
To Be a Mother, the Agonies and the Ecstasies, is a unique
16-page booklet with full-color cover, written specifically to
mothers with grown children. It contains not only the comforting
piece Darla quoted from entitled “The Savior Makes Up the Difference
for Mothers, Too,” but four poems and some fine prose by poet
laureate Emma Lou Thayne. Now half-price: $1.99!
“The Juggling Act” and “Peace of Mind” are hour-long inspirational
audio tapes that focus on the Savior’s comforting power in our
lives. They are sure to lift the heaviest heart and give new perspectives
for Christlike living. Now half-price: $2.99 apiece!
Also check the introductory special of the book that Darla wrote
with pioneering clinical traumatologist Barry Richards. Sudden
Trauma! When Life Will Never Be the Same Again contains revolutionary,
gospel-based principles for healing emotional wounds caused by
the traumas of life.
Expiration
date of all discount offers: May 31st, 2003
