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Good Things Must Come to an End
Some things must come to an end — with
no good explanation. You think everything is going great, you're
building trust, you're getting to know each other, and just
when you think you know what to expect, the relationship goes
kaput.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, who can say good-bye in seven different
languages, including pig Latin
Dating
in the Digital Age
Miss Manners needs to write a whole new
book to cover the perils of dating by IM, by text messaging,
and by email. In this uncharted territory, it's every blogger
for himself.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
How
Crusty Is Your Curtain?
I’m not so liberal (or as too many put
it, “college educated”) as to think that I won’t be picking
up my husband’s messes for all eternity. But I am smart enough
to know in advance whether or not he will appreciate it.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
When
Recycling is Not a Good Idea
Reuse is defined as using an item over
again in its current form without significant processing that
alters its material structure. Or in this case, you might say
marital structure.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Verbal
Issues, or Why Do I Sound Like a Total Idiot?
Ladies and
Gentlemen, we finally have a diagnosis for the common medical
problem of being completely, totally unable to forge a coherent
sentence in the presence of the opposite gender. No applause,
please. You'll just make us blush.
By Erin A. McBride, OMEFO survivor,
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, who has no one to blame for the same
problem
Mork
from Ork lied to us all and I’m suing.
No
civilization ever could have survived if the children were bigger
than their parents. The only leverage parents really have over
their children is size. And trust me, size matters.
By Erin A. McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, children of the
80’s
Good
on Paper Guys
I've met a few guys that come highly
recommended and look decent on paper, but don't jump out at
you. I've had some fun with these guys lately and made some
new friends this way, but the truth of it still stands. They
aren't the candidate I was looking for.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, good everywhere
Play Ball!
Obviously tennis should be the sport of dating — after all, it uses the term “love!” So why does dating feel more like dodge ball?
By Erin Ann McBride, Ace Sports Reporter, and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, Referee
So,
What’s Your Phase?
Singles are the people who know that the
real treat of Valentine's Day is February 15th, when the candy
hearts go on sale.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Missed
Connections
For those who keep kicking themselves
over the one that might have been, yet wasn't, read on!
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Calling
Cards For Dating
Getting asked out on a date no longer
means that you are both looking for an eternal commitment. Some
people are just looking for a free dinner
By Juli Hiatt Caldwell,
married and happy, and Erin Ann McBride, single and looking
for a best friend
Dating
by the Numbers
We can't give up chocolate, so we have
decided our goal for the year is tell you the cold, hard, brutal
truth about dating. No more nice, shiny descriptions of a love
life you don't have. We're here to give it to you straight,
and hopefully make you laugh in the meantime.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Two girls who can say “Happy New Year” in Spanish, French, Swahili,
and Pig Latin
More
than a Hammer, Less than a Wife
What do single men want for Christmas?
Here's a wishlist and it won't add a dime to your charge card
statement.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, elves in training
A
Single Girl’s Christmas Letter to Santa
Yes, we might
be a little too old to be writing letters to the jolly fat man,
but there’s still a little girl (or boy) in each of us who misses
that time in life where we could just put all our faith in one
letter to make all our dreams come true.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, Santa’s Little Helpers
A
Fisheye View of the Dating Scene
If there is one message we wish
we could get across to every single person in the world, it
would be to not read too much into every little passing detail.
By Juli Hiatt Caldwell and Erin Ann McBride,
experts at the female language
Singles
Awareness Day
No married person offering advice, even
really great advice, will ultimately get a single person married.
The Lord has an individualized plan for each of us, and getting
married at 20 may be right for Jane but completely wrong for
Jen.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
The
Man at the Top of the List
Guy #1 has been holding on to the top
berth for several months now, something no one has managed to
do for years. Is that a problem? I'll let you decide.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, advocates for love
Musings
of a Single Thought Diva
Unload your baggage, drop it of with the
valet, buckle up, and form new expectations that match the person
and the circumstances.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, your hostesses for today. Please keep
your arms and legs inside the column at all times, and enjoy
the ride!
A
Reader’s Tale of Dating Woe
We dare you to have a dating
story that is worse than this one.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, grateful for once
it’s not one of us
We All Have a Plan
Single life can be fun, if you let it.
If every memory you make is tainted by, "But I only did
it because I wasn't married," your life will never be as
fun and exciting as it could have been.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli
Hiatt Caldwell, completely in control
The
Misuse of the Munch and Mingle
If you are currently on an activities
or refreshment committee that supervises and organizes Munch
and Mingle events, this column is directed at you.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, Advocates for more
meaningful socializing and food consumption
Levels
of Attraction
All singles know that there are
many complex and unspoken (until now) levels of attraction.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Wanted:
Alive
How would you describe your favorite
single to someone else who might be interested?
By
Erin Ann McBride (free to good home) and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
(Sold!)
Where’s
Waldo?
You search for Waldo in a crowd,
spot an interesting fellow, try him out, but upon closer consideration,
discover he’s not wearing a knobby red hat.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt
Caldwell
One
Size Fits All?
Singles probably never did all
come in one shape or size, but in today's market things really
have become more diverse.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt
Caldwell
Erin
and Juli’s Complete Girl’s Guide to
Furniture
Warning to the men: This
column is directed completely, 100% at single women. Feel free
to read on if you would like to know how we talk about you when
you aren’t around.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, with a
little help from their friends, Bev and Joy
Ode to the Breakup … and
Moving On
A broken heart always hurts. It doesn't
just hurt when it gets broken; it hurts when it heals.
By Erin Ann McBride
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Pigtail
Pulling
If there is an active singles'
program in your area, we humbly suggest that maybe it's time
to boot down your computer, and go support your local singles'
program.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Occupational
Hazard
“So I was reading your column last
week, and I think taking dating advice from you is like taking
financial advice from a bankrupt person.”
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Falling Through the Cracks
Singles know what loneliness can
truly feel like. Sometimes when they walk into church and see
a room full of families, they feel the sting of their solo act
a little more sharply than before.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
More Miss Manners for Mormons
Several months ago we brought
you “Miss Manners for Mormons,” and you had a lot
to say about it. We are back for an updated and summertime version
of “Miss Manners for Mormons.”
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, not just
back by popular demand
The
Woes of Online Dating
Never, ever admit that all you
require of your next relationship is a functional pulse. Because
honestly, if that’s all you want, that’s all you’ll
get.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
The
Amazing Keepsake ATM Receipt
He saw her name several times
and wondered it if could possibly be the same girl whose number
he had been carrying in his wallet, three inches from his tailbone,
for seven years.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Sifting
Through the Samsonite of Life
The old stories of what a woman
carries around in her purse may be more significant than any
of us realized.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Finding
Your Jedi Knight
Our hope was that if a Jedi can
find a date, busy as he is saving the galaxy from the evil Empire,
the rest of us can too.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Dropping
Hints
Are your singles falling
away because you have your thirty-two-year-old male attending
potluck suppers with 65-year-old women?
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt
Caldwell
Engagement
Chicken
When a girl invites you to a dinner
party, she's trying to express interest. That's right, in her
own misguided way, she's trying to express her interest in you.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, who wonder
which came first the engagement chicken or the dating chicken?
The
Dating Stock Market
Have you ever wondered why some people
seem to have a little more value in the dating market than others?How
can you gain an edge on the dating stock market?
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Cat
Women
Men, as much as we love you, the message
we share today is intended for the single women only. Why? Because
women are their own worst enemies.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Should
a Best Friend Be More?
Does there have to be a romantic
spark to get the flames of love burning, or can you play Eagle
Scout and build a fire out of whatever happens to be lying around?
Let us know!
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Healthy, Stealthy, and
Wise
Some rings are anything but obvious
symbols of trust and fidelity. Sometimes they are just a piece
of jewelry worn on a finger.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
The Dating
Vortex
"It's always been my premise
that it's better to be a bit unhappy as a single person than
a miserably married one."
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Mission or Mrs.?
No sister is ever worse off for
serving the Lord, and no young man is worse off for snagging
a girl who has served.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
The
Pressure Cooker
They had only known each other
for a couple of months, and of those, had only dated a couple
of weeks... and the family was already gearing up for a wedding.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
When
a Good Date Tastes Bad
Men, if you want a second date,
you can't gross them out on the first round.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Male Mail Call
Instead of focusing on the flavor
of the month, try new flavors and you just might find the person
whom you would have never thought you could marry or date becomes
the perfect match.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
When
Silence Isn’t Golden
When it comes to ending a dating relationship,
silence is far from golden.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, silent sirens
Breaking Away from the Pack
On any given Sunday, when our
little ward averaged 50 people coming to Sacrament, 35 of those
were women. (You do the math!)
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, former
harem honeys
When
it Rains, It Pours
The
daydreams were suddenly full of three knights on horses. In
each fantasy a different knight was winning the battle for my
heart. I sat and dreamed and waited for the phone to ring.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Random
Single Thoughts
Another good reason why the man
should ask the woman on a date is that women tend to get a little
too emotional if they get rejected. Men do not cry when you
tell them you are busy on a Saturday night.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, innocent
until proven guilty
The
Big Fat Deflated Balloon of Valentine’s Bliss
If you don’t get what you
expected this Valentine’s Day, no worries! The chocolate
is on 50% markdown the next day.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, Messengers
of Love, Hoarders of Chocolate
The Highly Unlikely Reason
He Asked, and Why I Said Yes
I sat silently for a minute. I
had just done a very disgusting thing all over his shoes. He
chose this moment to ask me out?
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, two peas
in a pod
How to Annoy Everyone
And don’t forget to correct
every Sunday school teacher. She may have written the lesson,
but that doesn’t mean she should have the final word.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
The
Misuse of the Munch and Mingle
The Great M&M has potential
beyond what most can see! A singles ward without the Great M&M
is hardly worth attending.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
The Lost Art of Wooing
It's the little things that make
a difference on a date. Bryan had made sure that her doors were
open, her chair pulled out, the place and time set, and the
conversation flowed.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
The
Official Erin and Juli’s Revised Rules for Dating
From time to time we have brought
to you our rules for what not to do on a date. We still maintain
that we can't tell you how to get a date, but we can always
tell you why you can't get a date.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell. All rights
reserved, thank you very much!
The
Glories of a Singles Ward
With the elders quorum passing
the sacrament, rarely does bread fall in your lap. But if it
does, you know it is because you looked really good that day.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell,
with guest star Vernon P. Funkweiler
Miss
Manners for Mormons Part Deuce
By popular demand, we bring to
you more Miss Manners for Mormons. Forget about the Christmas
list we asked for! You want to learn etiquette.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, Ladies
in Training
Miss Manners for Mormons
Rule Number Nine: If You Get Offended
by Any of the Above, Repeat the Following Phrase – "They
are Talking About Me. I Am Guilty!"
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
A Week in
the Life of a Single Girl
Who throws the party for the single
girls? Who buys them matching bath towels and soap dispensers?
By Erin Ann McBride, completely jealous
of her best friend Juli Hiatt Caldwell
on a cruise, somewhere in the Caribbean
Caught on a Date with No Way Out
I can't believe someone would
actually sink so low as to trick a girl into a date, and then
still expect her to pay for herself.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell,
still in tryptophan overload
Be Single, Be Proud
Despite what you might believe,
or have been made to feel, being single is not the disease that
some would have you believe it is.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Target Practice
Take one well-meaning Southern
belle, mix in one man who won't give up, and you have the ingredients
of a recipe for disaster.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
When
Saturday Night Means a Good Book and an Early Night
We're not one size fits all. Some
go to school, some work, some own homes, some have five roommates,
some have five kids, some wonder if they will ever get to have
kids.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, fairy godmothers
To Date or Not To Date?
If you are asked out by someone
whom you don't find attractive, get over yourself and go out
with him anyway. You never know who will be your next best friend.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
The Truth About
Dating, Part 2
Nature tends to side with the
women in the insect world. In a hive, there is one queen, and
she's a big momma!
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
The
Evolution of Dating, Part 1
The pressure for us to get married
has turned the enjoyable experience of dating into an intensive,
angst-filled interview for the job you will have for the rest
of your life, and into eternity too.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, Innocent Bystanders
Going
Public
Be very, very careful if you go
public too soon in a dating relationship. It could completely
alter your social universe.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
A Week in the Life of a Single
Girl
Some people think that being a
young single woman is all roses and chocolate hearts. How glorious
that would be!
By: Erin Ann McBride, the single girl in question,
and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, sitting on the sidelines watching with
a bucket of popcorn
A
True and Unembellished Story
Is
it really true that you have to be married to move to Montana?
Or that the gray-bearded man in the foyer was really 23?
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Dating
Advice for the Hopelessly Lost
Disclaimer: The following advice
is given freely and at the request of readers everywhere. It
does not guarantee a date. We may not be able to tell you how
to get a date, but we bet we can tell you why you can’t
get a date.
By
Juli Hiatt Caldwell, married and therefore an expert on dating,
and Erin Ann McBride, single and looking
Duty-Free
Dating
It has recently come to our attention
that there is a troublesome trend spreading across the young,
careless, and free LDS singles of society. This intolerable
trend must be brought to light and shared with the unprotected
and innocent bystanders. Gasp--it's duty-free dating.
Best
Dating Stories
From Hawaii to New Zealand to
Kuwait, our readers have shared their best dating stories. Yes,
you can meet someone nice when you have a flat tire on the highway
and no tools to change it.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, innocent until proven
guilty
A
Stalking Story
Sit back and enjoy this
story of a quirky young man who pursued both our authors at
the same time.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, innocent victims
Where
Dating is Never Just the Same Old Thing
Sometimes you know in advance
that you just shouldn’t go on the date, but somewhere
deep inside, you hear a nagging voice that says that you should
go out with the poor soul. Because if you don’t, who will?
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell, innocent victims
How We Met
Here's the almost true story about
how one couple met told in Erin and Juli's incomparable way.
Do you have a story about how you met and greeted a special
someone in your life?
By
Erin McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
The
Little Black Dress and…The Gold-Digger Story
The following story may or may
not be true. If it were true, we would deny it until the day
we die. If it were not true, why would we share it? If it were
not not true, we would change all the necessary details in order
to hide our true identities. It’s all about plausible
deniability.
By
Erin McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
A
Kiss by Any Other Name…
The
topic of kissing is a surefire way to get some feedback!
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
To Kiss or
Not To Kiss?
A column for the hopelessly lost during
the most fun years of their lives! Today's topic: just what
does a kiss mean?
By Erin McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
A
Single Girl’s List
I have a list comprised of all
the guys I am interested in at any given moment. It changes
from day to day, and sometimes from hour to hour. I have even
seen it change from minute to minute.
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
What
a Woman Wants--Readers Tell Us
What a woman wants and what is
realistic may be two different things. With their responses
to this question, readers make us laugh and think.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
What
a Woman Wants
Men, do you ever sit and wonder
what a woman wants from a man? Our writers have compiled an
all-encompassing list.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
The Reality You'll Never
See on TV
When it comes to the so-called
reality shows, do you ever wonder what is happening on television
lately? Let's talk about the reality show that should be made!
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
First
Date- I Think?
"The following story is true and will
resemble people living and deceased. However, under no circumstances
are you to take any of what we say seriously." Was this
a first date or were we just buddies?
By Erin McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
What NOT To Do on a Date
Laugh and cry as our readers share their
horrific date stories and Erin and Juli come up with the most
absurd and true rules for dating you've ever seen.
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Adonis - The Lumberjack
How
many times does it take before we finally learn that it's not
the shiny cellophane exterior, but what's under the wrapper
that really counts?
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
An
Unexpected Proposal
Some
men take years to getting around to popping the question. Others,
well . . . hold on to your Montana horses!
By
Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Robbing
the Cradle
What
motivates a guy to ask out a girl? Is it really that big, white,
floppy bow in her hair? You know, the same one she wore in 4th
grade?
By Erin Ann McBride and Juli Hiatt Caldwell
Catch
Me If I Fall
Real estate agents tell us the
three most important aspects of good property are location,
location, location. For dating we might say the three most important
things to remember are attitude, attitude, attitude.
By
Erin McBride and Juli Caldwell
The
Earnest Courtship Efforts of Brother Intense Lee Desperate
You know that obnoxious person
in the singles ward that is just a bit . . . off. Have you considered
how the Savior would treat him?
By Erin McBride and Juli Caldwell
Three Strikes and You're
Out?
We introduce Erin McBride and
Juli Caldwell who share with us the woes, joys and laughs of
single life.
By
Erin McBride and Juli Caldwell |
