Until They Know
By C.S. Bezas

Ever heard the following statement?

This has a truth that runs through so many settings and is no more true than in a classroom with teens or in the home with children. We who work with youth want nothing more than for them to find the joy that God holds out for each of them.

To help these young men and women arrive at that joyful moment, we need to be able to work with them, associate with them, rub shoulders with them, and love them. To do this, we need them to let us into their lives.

Yet sometimes we find it difficult to move past the barriers they’ve placed between themselves and others. That’s when the expression, “They don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care,” enters in. Our purpose is to help these youth understand we love them. Otherwise, they may shrug nonchalantly at what we spiritually offer them.

To Put Away Childish Things

Anne C. Pingree, Second Counselor in the Relief Society General Presidency, stated the following: “We will not mature spiritually until we choose, as the Apostle Paul phrased it, to ‘put away childish things’ (1 Cor. 13:11).”¹

So much of growth for a teen must come from within. We as adults can only do as our Father does and that is influence, influence, influence. But too many of us (perhaps) find ourselves shoving our teens in spiritual directions they’re not interested in pursuing, thus turning them into recalcitrant-like stallions — teeth-baring and guttural sounds included!

Yet what are we to do when so many are being coyly enticed in the opposite direction into battlefields of sin? Far too many kids have found themselves entranced by the siren songs of society and have now trod in dangerous pastures, clueless of the mire that awaits unaware (or perhaps rebellious) “stallions.”

As always, our help for both them and us can be found in three places: prayer, scripture study, and the counsel of the Lord’s current leaders. This week we will focus on the first instrument of power: Prayer.

Prayer.

“Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be opened unto you…”

It is easy to understand this premise on a physical level. When we knock on a door, the inhabitants generally open to see who is inquiring at the threshold. We can even read of an example of this physical action in Acts 12:16:

This scripture refers to an amazing experience that would be well to study (see Acts 12 and marvel at the power of prayer) and which culminated in that miraculous moment of Peter’s knocking. Peter’s physical action of knocking on the door was answered by a physical opening of the door (at John’s mother’s home). But for us mortals, it seems to take longer to comprehend that the spiritual realm parallels this same action. Look how many times this concept is repeated for our benefit in the scriptures…

As many times as this expression has been reiterated, one would think that we mortals are slow learners. Perhaps we are, but let me interject here that I can only imagine our perspective in the halls of heaven prior to coming to this earth. As we contemplated having the veil drawn upon our minds, the wonder of the experience perhaps would have been darkened a bit as reality began to settle.

What would we do when struggling, if we couldn’t remember Him who had sent us? How would we handle pain larger than our capacity? Who could we turn to if all those around us rejected us, yet we didn’t remember our Father who had sent us?

In this situation, what loving Father wouldn’t provide some source or pipeline of comfort during such a darkened existence? I can only imagine the soothing nature of His voice as He expanded His vision to our minds. Of course I’m making a supposition, but I can almost picture the comfort that must have come as He taught of the future power of prayer for those who accepted a more finite existence on earth.

Now that we are here on earth, how often we see prayer as a first instinct coming to a person in danger. It seems to be part of our very being. We see this in so many settings: the first words of a mother for her child torn from her arms by the floods of a hurricane, the first pleas of a father for his child lost in the woods, the first cry of a soldier who sees his buddy felled by sudden explosives. It is instinctive within us to call on our Maker in these moments — all the while not remembering the face of Him to whom we call!

But sometimes we forget this line of safety when life becomes (dare I say it) easy. It is clear to see, then, why so many reminders remain within the pages of our scriptures. They continue on…

Additional Instruction

After reading all these verses, one might think this is all there is — we simply need to ask to receive. Yet the Lord offers additional instruction within these silver-threaded lines sewn so consistently in the scriptures. The next verse teaches an important preparatory piece to having requests answered. Read the following carefully:

It is interesting to note that D&C 49:26 adds the admonition of “repent of all your sins.” Apparently, repentance is a hinge upon which answers may swing.

The instructional clues continue with D&C 66:9 (again, reading closely): “Lay your hands upon the sick, and they shall recover. Return not till I, the Lord, shall send you. Be patient in affliction. Ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.”

Those who serve (i.e. “lay your hands upon the sick”) apparently place themselves in better positions for answered prayers, as do those who hearken to counsel already received (i.e. “return not”), as well as those who are “patient in affiction.”

To finish it off, in D&C 88:63 and D&C 75:27, we learn the common process through which additional prayers are answered — by drawing near to God in every day life and by being open to receive the Comforter. We read:

These are great things that await those who wield the mighty tool of prayer. Thus in summary, it would appear for us to ensure answers to our prayers, we must needs repent, hearken to the instructions we’ve already received (for example, the specific instruction to “return not” as found in D&C 66:9 and to “go forth as I have commanded you” from D&C 49:26), and to be patient in afflictions. Then it seems we can expect the door of heaven to more readily open to us as we knock upon it.

At times I wonder why is it so difficult for God’s children to believe that God is good and loving and kind, when these kinds of promises await all of His children. Yet I must admit it has been a journey for me to come to this knowledge myself. It’s taken me a time to learn that not only does God bless the lives of others with beautiful and ample gifts, but He will do the same for me…if I will but “knock” after His prescribed fashion.

The Lord promises in D&C 111:11: “Therefore, be ye as wise as serpents and yet without sin; and I will order all things for your good, as fast as ye are able to receive them. Amen.” Why not start trusting His statements today?

Listen to the Answer that Comes

Finally, if we feel our requests are not being attended to, perhaps we need to learn to listen more after knocking at the Lord’s doorway. After all, we are told the voice of the Spirit comes quiet and soft to the heart of the seeker. I testify that while listening, those who seek — who knock — will find the answers opened that the Lord has sent. He always has responded to the earnest plea of a sincere soul; He always will. We read, “If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?” (Luke 11:11)

The apostle James validates each of these previous verses with this lovely teaching: “But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him” (James 1:4-5).

In James’ instruction, we learn the essential nature of all answered prayers — the importance of patience, of waiting upon the Lord and His wisdom. James also teaches one more essential thread of truth: “But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed….A double minded man is unstable in all his ways” (James 1:6, 8).

Summary

At the beginning of this article I mentioned the need to slip past the barriers youth put between themselves and others. But in truth, when youth know how much we care about and for them, they are much more likely to remove those barriers altogether. Prayer is one tool to help us figure out how to encourage this. Prayer is potent because it leads us to ask help from the One who knows the hearts of these youth. Who better to turn to with our concerns? Who better to listen to for effective approaches?

Moroni teaches us, “Remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts” (Moro. 10:4). One could even replace Moroni’s phrase “ponder in your hearts” with “rejoice in your hearts”!

Stop for just a moment to ponder that. Truly, what a thing to celebrate we have — a God who truly cares and who answers each child’s prayer, perhaps not in the way each might choose, but in the best way. Just as He must have promised so long ago in His heavenly halls.

Indeed, our God will respond as we ask, seek, knock, listen. Our youth need this and we need this as we work with them, to help them see as we see and know as we know. Perhaps no longer will they nonchalantly discard what we offer, if they know we truly care about them. Prayer is one way to figure out how best to do and show this.

Next week we will discuss Scripture Study, the second potent instrument of change the Lord has given us (see http://scriptures.lds.org/en/alma/31).

¹Anne C. Pingree, “To Grow Up unto the Lord,” Ensign, pp. 74-76. 

C.S. Bezas’ new book is now in LDS bookstores and has been called perfect for parents of teens and those who work with them. Powerful Tips for Powerful Teachers: Helping Youth Find Their Spiritual Wings is also available by clicking here.