Your
Perspective, Please
By C.S. Bezas
How are
the youth in your ward doing? I hear
such wonderful reports of service-minded
kids, kids who won’t bow to peer pressure,
youth who are willing to stand strong
for what they believe. It then breaks
my heart to hear of the anomalies
that exist. Different readers write
about a sampling of issues and topics.
Consider with me the following experiences
involving a handful of youth from
a variety of times and situations:
- A
youth invites a young woman to visit
their ward (as a missionary effort).
Another teen during the activity
comments to her, “You’re sure ugly.”
- A
family is near baptism, having worked
with the missionaries for several
weeks. They are excited to “join
the fold” and attend Sacrament Meeting
for the first time. After attending
church, they decide to join another
church. Reason? The investigator’s
daughter recognized the girls in
that ward as some of the wildest
at her high school, both in immorality
issues and in immodest dress.
- Some
LDS boys while scouting vandalize
the scout camp, thus affecting future
relations.
- A
new convert and her family eventually
return to their original church
because the youth in the ward taunt
her kids.
- Some
kids think it’s funny to urinate
and defecate on another youth’s
tent during a ward campout and do
so.
- One
teen says: “The non-member kids
at school are nicer than the kids
in my ward.”
The
Troubled Few
These
are actual events, experienced by
different folks. Whereas perhaps they
are few and far in between, they alarm
me; a few appall me. Read the following:
“Now
it came to pass that there were many
of the rising generation that could
not understand the words of king Benjamin,
being little children at the time
he spake unto his people; and they
did not believe the tradition of their
fathers.
(How
does one manifest non-belief?
Could it be by our actions? Dictionary.com
states “belief” to be a conviction,
a confidence, a faith, or a trust.
This would tend to be seen as something
a person valued and lived after. Definitely
not something that appears to be manifested
in the situations listed above.)
“They
did not believe what had been said
concerning the resurrection of the
dead, neither did they believe concerning
the coming of Christ.
(It would
seem to me that if one really understood
true and eternal consequences, that
understanding would shape action in
most if not all cases. So then, what
conclusions can be drawn in analyzing
youth who are making harmful choices,
either to others or themselves? And
how do we help them as their parents,
leaders, and teachers? What kinds
of boundaries do we set? What kind
of faithful love do we manifest?)
“And
now because of their unbelief they
could not understand the word of God;
and their hearts were hardened.” (Mosiah
26: 1-3)
It’s
a cyclical thing, it would appear.
Unbelief brings hard-heartedness,
which makes it harder to believe (yet
easier to be unkind, as we see if
we read further in Mosiah 26). Now
consider this from a different portion
of the Book of Mormon:
“And
thus ended the eighth year of the
reign of the judges; and the wickedness
of the church was a great stumbling-block
to those who did not belong to the
church; and thus the church began
to fail in its progress.” (Alma 4:10)
How disheartening
that must have been for those living
during that time! Let me stop here
to say how grateful I am for modern-day
youth who are kind, not puffed up,
who are valiant, youth who work to
keep their baptismal covenants in
caring for one another. But I am worried
for those who don’t. And I cannot
pretend to be past feeling when I
hear of youth who just don’t seem
“to get it”, whether it is through
their snide interactions with one
another or outright harmful choices.
Their numbers may be small (or perhaps
not), but their impact is harmful.
For just
a moment, let’s flip the situation
around. How often we hear of the long-term,
happy influence of one person sharing
a Book of Mormon with another individual.
The happy ending to that story often
is that many of the eventual posterity
go on to serve missions, thus potentially
impacting thousands by their service.
Well, the reverse is also true.
Ponder
the sad absence of the family mentioned
in the list above who ended up joining
another church because of the example
(or lack thereof) by certain Mormon
teens. Just think of the missing influence
that lost family could have had in
genealogical service, missionary service,
temple service, etc, extending for
multi-generational years. Yes, indeed
our choices do impact others. It’s
why we hear so often about setting
good examples.
Oh, it
would be ideal if people could just
see past our flaws; yes, people should
join the church based on the merits
of the gospel alone. But the reality
is, we can’t have it both ways. Either
the scriptures lie when they tell
us the importance of letting our light
“shine” or they tell the truth—that
our daily choices impact those around
us for good or for ill. We read:
“Let
your light so shine before men, that
they may see your good works, and
glorify your Father which is in heaven.”
(Matt. 5: 16) Those words were
spoken by Christ himself!
The Lord Asks for Just a Few Things.
When
we are baptized, the Lord gives us
the following inestimable gift:
“For
behold, this is my church; whosoever
is baptized shall be baptized unto
repentance. And whomsoever ye receive
shall believe in my name; and him
will I freely forgive.” (Mosiah
26: 22, emphasis added). Can anyone
count the cost of such an eternal
gift? No wonder the Lord simply asks
for a few things in return:
“And
it came to pass that he said unto
them: Behold, here are the waters
of Mormon (for thus were they called)
and now, as ye are desirous to come
into the fold of Gad, and to be called
his people, and are willing to
bear one another’s burdens, that
they may be light;
“Yea,
and are willing to mourn with those
that mourn; yea, and comfort
those that stand in need of comfort,
and to stand as witnesses of God at
all times and in all things, and in
all places that ye may be in,
even until death…
“…if
this be the desire of your hearts,
what have you against being baptized
in the name of the Lord, as a witness
before him that ye have entered into
a covenant with him, that ye will
serve him and keep his commandments,
that he may pour out his Spirit more
abundantly upon you?” (Mosiah 18:
8-10, emphasis added)
This
is the promise we make to the Lord
on our baptism day. This is what the
goal is and while we work a lifetime
to live it well, it remains an ever-present
part of our daily walk on this earth
if we confess conversion in Christ.
This covenant needs to be understood
by our youth as a standing promise
between them and the Lord.
Being
There For Others (Not Against
Them)
What
is so terribly hard about being nice?
I am amazed at the destructive nature
of some of these kid’s choices mentioned
above. What does this say about where
they were mentally and spiritually
when they made these decisions? What
are they not grasping? What have we
failed to teach them?
Yes,
each person has choice and will make
a choice to stand on God’s side or
not, at some point during this lifetime.
But we must ensure that we have done
all we can to teach and to set standards
so these youth understand the urgency
of what they are about.
Forget
the fact that the afore-mentioned,
mischievous choices by these youth
caused hurt feelings or negative impressions
about the church. Even if those things
do not matter (which, as baptized
members it seems we would be concerned
about caring for others, not
hurting them), one would hope that
we as parents, leaders and teachers
of teens want our youth to at least
experience that which is promised
in Mosiah 2: 41:
“O,
all ye old men, and also ye young
men, and you little children who can
understand my words…
“…I
would desire that ye should consider
on the blessed and happy state of
those that keep the commandments of
God. For behold, they are blessed
in all things, both temporal and spiritual;
and if they hold out faithful to the
end they are received into heaven,
that thereby they may dwell with God
in a state of never-ending happiness.
O remember, remember that these things
are true; for the Lord God hath spoken
it.” (Mosiah 2: 41)
This
is what we are all working for as
we work with our young men and women.
We want them to consider “on the blessed
and happy state of those that keep
the commandments of God.” The last
I checked, that meant loving another
as oneself and loving God above all
else.
Summary.
Some
might still argue that “all is well
in Zion” (2 Nephi 28: 21). But for
those who are watching deeply, there
are youth falling between the cracks.
Not only are they harming others,
but they take themselves down during
these moments. They are building a
precarious path (far removed from
discipleship) when they vandalize
other people’s property, treat others
unkindly, or when they deliberately
flaunt authority. Their numbers might
be few, but their choices must surely
trouble the Lord…and hopefully trouble
us enough to do something about it.
I wonder
sometimes if it is too inconvenient
to discuss these things? Is it too
painful to realize that we are losing
some of our young men and women to
this world? Are there some adults
who would prefer to hide their faces
from such events, so they need not
deal with them? Ah, but times might
be more urgent than perhaps we think.
The apostle Paul declared:
“This know also, that in the last
days perilous (“grave risk or
harm”) times shall come.
“For
men shall be lovers of their own selves,…boasters,
proud,…disobedient to parents, unthankful,
unholy.
“…incontinent (unable to restrain
self),…despisers of those that
are good,…
“…lovers of pleasures more than lovers
of God;…” (2 Timothy 3:1-4)
Some
will label such choices as listed
in the beginning of this article with
statements such as “kids will be kids”,
thus casually discounting the shock
of unkind actions and how they hurt
others. To discount such things also
ignores the attending impact on missionary
work.
President
Hinckley’s talk on the “6 B’s” is
oft-quoted:
- Be
grateful
- Be
smart
- Be
clean
- Be
true
- Be
humble
- Be
prayerful (January 2001 New Era)
President
Hinckley has given us inspired measurement
tools. So how are your youth doing,
especially in these categories? How
have you helped those who have struggled
and yet now are doing better. What
made the difference? What seemed to
work? What didn’t?
In addition
to “the 6 B’s”, I am hopeful the youth
in your area live according to the
standards taught in the “For the Strength
of Youth” pamphlet (given to all youth
when entering the young men’s or young
women’s program). If so, how have
you, and the others with you, helped
your youth discover the joy found
in gospel-living? What have you done
to sound the alert so that the necessary
youth in your midst received the help
they need? What activities have you
engaged in to help reach these troubled
kids? Feel free to write me at seminaryclassnotes@yahoo.com
to share your ideas and suggestions
for a future article.
In the
meantime, may we be like King Benjamin
when an angel came to him saying,
“…Awake; and [he] awoke…” (Mosiah
3:2). By staying “awake,” we will
more likely see and effectively address
problems with appropriately-prescribed
boundaries and with loving, inspired
help. This way we can work to make
sure these kinds of situations either
do not occur or at least do not deteriorate
into anything worse. To otherwise
ignore these kinds of choices (some
would say, “cries for help”) potentially
indicates that either we’re too busy
to be bothered, or that we have failed
to see the global impact of such hurtful
or rash decisions.
My husband
currently counsels drug offenders.
Interestingly enough, the majority
of them say they wish somebody had
stopped them when they had been in
their infant days of rebellion—but
because noone did, their path to recovery
now is immense and painful.
Again,
I hear mostly wonderful reports of
youth doing great things. I know personally
that many youth in my area are outstanding.
But if there are struggling youth
in the midst of the church (and there
are), let us do our part to:
