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Holding
Down the Fort
by
Claudia Goodman
The wedding
reception was over. I stood watching as our daughter Andrea and
new son-in-law Mark peeled rolls of toilet paper and easy-clean
puff spray off their car so they could leave. It was a happy moment,
and I was enjoying the celebration. But I couldn’t linger long;
I was needed inside to answer questions regarding the cleanup. I
headed for the door, but in my preoccupation I missed the curb and
sprawled headlong across the sidewalk. Luckily no one saw me, so
I hastily got to my feet. Once inside however, I realized that I
was hurt worse than I thought. My wrist was rapidly swelling, and
I was in too much pain to do anything. Fortunately there were plenty
of others to hold down the fort, and they easily completed the cleanup
without me.
X-rays revealed
that I had fractured my wrist in two places—my right wrist—so
now I am typing this article very slowly with one hand. It has been
amazing for me to realize how very dependent I am on my left
hand for support, even though I am right-handed. Now my left hand
is struggling to do all the things my right hand used to do, but
without a backup. I am finding there are so many things that are
almost impossible to do without a second hand to support the first—lifting
heavy boxes, slicing fruits and vegetables, opening a can, blow
drying and curling hair, etc.
Years ago I
learned how critical such backups are to a family. If everyone is
running at top speed and no one is picking up the pieces, the home
dissolves into chaos. Just as the song suggests, a person who is
to “fly higher than an eagle,” must have someone to be
“the wind beneath [his] wings.” Of course all of us enjoy
being in the limelight and soaring to greater heights, but there
are also times and seasons. Sometimes we are the eagle, and sometimes
the wind.
Mothers usually
quite naturally become the wind beneath the wings. They spend most
of their time making everyone else in the family look good and succeed.
Fixing the meals, keeping the house tidy, correcting homework, running
forgotten items to school, finding the things Dad needs for work,
and taking an active interest in his activities are only a few of
the things they do constantly behind the scenes.
Unfortunately
today’s culture is bent on convincing mothers to focus on their
own careers and themselves first and foremost. “Experts”
insist that husbands and children do just fine being sandwiched
in the cracks along with the housework and laundry. But they have
forgotten one thing. Who is going to hold the family together? It
must be someone who is not running too fast. If Mother finds it
necessary to work outside the home, an added responsibility falls
on other family members to help tie up all the loose ends. Besides,
even mothers who are able to remain at home need the rest of the
family to share in backing each other up.
With the recent
marriage of our daughter Andrea, everyone in the family had a chance
to be the wind beneath her wings. One sister coordinated the decorations.
Another worked on the shower, while a third made the wedding cake.
Even our two missionaries wrote and requested that their brother
make dummies of them to sit beside the guest book as a reminder
of their support. Everyone found countless ways to help.
Julianne flew
to Utah from Illinois with her baby and made a special effort to
attend the endowment session in Manti as well as the wedding. I
reminded her that Andrea would be too preoccupied with Mark to spend
much time with her. “That’s not why I came, Mom,”
she explained. “When I received my endowment, one of the things
that meant the most to me was that my sister Christy came. I didn’t
really talk to her. I’m not sure I even told her how much it
meant to me, but I’ll never forget it. I know Andrea won’t
be able to spend much time with me, but I want her to know that
I am there for her.” And I’ll never forget the excitement
that lit Andrea’s face as Julianne took her place beside her
in the temple.
When Julianne
returned home following the wedding, she called me with concern
in her voice. After a week in strange places her baby was having
a hard time sleeping and was totally off schedule. “Just hold
him and love him,” I reassured her. “Don’t plan to
get anything done for a couple of days. Just slow down and let him
get his bearings.” In a world where everything else is in commotion,
someone needs to be constant—and simply be there. Sure
enough, by the next day, the baby was almost back to normal.
Now a week
has come and gone. The open house in Oregon at Mark’s home
is tonight, but here we are sitting at home in Mesa, Arizona. Yesterday
my husband Steve was diagnosed with pneumonia. There was no way
he could fly to Oregon. Nevertheless, he encouraged me to go without
him to support Mark and Andrea, and I almost did. But then I paused
and looked at how fast I was running—too fast. In an effort
to support a child, I had almost underestimated how much my husband
needed me. As I thought about it, I realized that Andrea and Mark
have each other. They wouldn’t miss me too much. I had already
done the really important things for them. But if I left home now,
with my husband seriously ill, who would hold down the fort for
him? And so I have enjoyed just being at his side today and feeling
the peace that comes in being in the right place at the right time.
May each of
us rejoice when opportunities come to us to soar in the sunlight,
higher than an eagle. But more importantly, may we always remember
and appreciate those who are the wind beneath our wings. And above
all, may we find the exhilarating joy that comes in being that wind,
in remaining quietly in the background holding down the fort.
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