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Divide and
Conquer
by
Claudia Goodman
August has been
a busy month as we have moved from Utah to Arizona, compounded by
the fact that when we settled in our seven-bedroom house in Sandy,
Utah ten years ago, we had twelve children. Now we are down to our
last one, so our new home has only three bedrooms. As you can imagine,
there has been a huge downscaling to dispose of all the excess.
During the past
few hectic weeks, I have thought many times of a story that changed
my life. It was just a quiet article featured in the middle section
of the newspaper about twenty-five years ago, and although I read
it with interest, I never considered saving it. Little did I know
how heavily I would draw on its message again and again.
The details
are hazy now, but basically it was the story of a five-year-old
boy who was the first person ever to survive rabies. He had been
exploring an attic when he was attacked and bitten by a rabid bat.
The reason no one had ever survived rabies before was because the
disease attacks each of the vital organs in such rapid succession
that the body is overwhelmed and doesn't know where to start. On
this little boy, the doctors were prepared. When his kidneys failed,
they revived them; when his liver faltered, they strengthened it;
when he quit breathing, they quickly recussitated him; when his
heart stopped, they jump-started it. Instead of looking on the terrible
scene in despair, they aggressively revived each body system in
the order it was attacked, before the next system failed. Although
the doctors were working frantically, they stayed ahead of the destructive
path of the rabies and in the end were able to save the boy's life.
So often we
find our lives following a similar pattern. Like the doctors treating
the boy with rabies, we have two choices. We can stand by and wring
our hands in despair while we watch everything fall apart, or we
can dive in-not blindly, but with our eyes wide open-and solve each
problem in turn as it surfaces. (If you think about it, that's what
they do in the high adventure movies-they solve one problem after
another, just in the nick of time.)
One of the most
important ways we can begin is to stack our priorities on
shelves. Right now I am especially aware of the advantages
of temporary and long-term storage. If everything we must do is
staring us in the face, we are overwhelmed and often paralyzed.
Even the doctors fighting rabies had to put all the problems except
the one they were currently addressing on a shelf.
Stack
your priorities on shelves.
Some things
are so pressing that they have to be done immediately, such as changing
a leaky diaper, comforting a crying child, taking children to school
or scheduled activities, feeding a hungry baby, or talking to a
child who needs help making an important decision. When my son limped
into the room with a wide gash on his leg, I dropped everything
to take him to the emergency room. We don't put such things on the
shelf; we stop and do them immediately! These projects are absolutely
top priority.
Other projects
have to be done today, but not right this minute. Housework, most
phone calls, errands, and special projects fall into this category.
We can fit them in the cracks or do them at more convenient times.
They need to be placed in the outbox of our first shelf where we
will see them and do them before the day is over.
Then there are
the intermediate priorities belonging to the near future. They need
to go on a shelf close at hand, but not right in front of our nose.
I remember one of my children saying to me, "Mom, my social studies
report is due next Monday, and I need some help." With all the pressing
things I had to do that day, my reply was, "Thanks for letting me
know. Today is only Thursday, and I don't have any time until Saturday
morning. Can we do it then?" Although we shouldn't procrastinate,
there are times when we can only do the very top priorities, and
for me (dealing with eleven other children), that priority would
not surface for a couple more days. I put it on a shelf until I
could deal with it so that it wouldn't add to my current pressure.
Finally, there
are some priorities that are only dreams at the moment. Present
circumstances won't allow for their completion. There are times
and seasons for all of us. The week after you have a baby may not
be the best time to volunteer to take dinner into a needy ward member.
Maybe you have always wanted to take piano lessons, but as young
women's president and mother of several small children, you don't
currently have the time. You may want to install a sprinkling system
and fence the back yard, but those plans will have to wait a year
or two until there are sufficient funds.
When my first
baby was about five months old, I took him to the store with me
to pick out fabric and material to make myself a dress. By the time
we left the store, he was crying in boredom and frustration, and
I was frazzled. Sewing the dress didn't go any better. I couldn't
stand to keep stopping in the middle of every other seam to pick
up a toy for him or stop and play with him. We were both having
a miserable experience. As I thought about it after he went to bed
that night, I came to the conclusion that with my drive to finish
projects and his short attention span, this was not a good time
in my life to sew all my own clothes as I had in the past. After
praying about it, I put that project on the long-term storage shelf
for a few months. Little did I know at the time that it would still
be there twenty-nine years later! However, I have never regretted
that decision. The time I have spent with my children has been well
worth putting a lesser priority into storage.
As times and
seasons come and go in our lives, we accomplish different things.
When I had twelve children at home, they were a fulltime job-and
then some! I didn't do much else. I remember going camping with
a baby in one arm and a toddler holding my free hand. We had cold
cereal and granola bars for breakfast, because cooking pancakes,
bacon, and eggs was out of the question with so many little ones.
I couldn't even think about turning on the stove. I was too busy
picking up toddlers out of the dirt. I wondered if I would ever
have my hands free enough to cook a meal over the fire.
Now my hands
are a lot freer, and I have discovered many exciting new talents
I never dreamed I possessed. However, having too much to do hasn't
changed at all. It has multiplied. No matter at which stage we find
ourselves, we must learn to put all but our top priorities on shelves.
Only then we are free to focus on the task at hand.
Focus
on the task at hand.
Back in January
as I looked ahead at the new year, it seemed absolutely overwhelming.
Marilee was entering the MTC to go to Germany in three weeks. (For
those of you who have not yet experienced outfitting a sister missionary,
it takes about four times as long as an elder. There's a lot more
to it than just buying two suits and twelve shirts.) I was also
in the middle of an extensive training program, and the midterm,
which would require weeks of study was staring me in the face. In
addition, we decided to move to Arizona where my husband had taken
a job, and we needed to fix up our house in order to sell it. All
of those things were due almost on top of each other, like the little
boy with rabies symptoms.
I decided I
would have to drop my training course since Marilee was more important,
but as I prayed about it, the impression came to my mind that I
could ask to postpone my midterm until later and then double up
on my study after Marilee left. I put everything on the shelf and
focused on helping Marilee prepare for her mission. We spent many
precious moments together, because I left all the pressure of other
projects up on a high shelf.
After Marilee
left, we concentrated on getting some of the accumulation of the
past ten years out of the house so it would show better. Although
it would have been ideal to go through everything at that point,
there was only time to sort through our books, so we rented a storage
unit and literally dumped boxes of things we would have to go through
later. But at least the house was clear. Often things that are not
the very top priority have to be compromised. In our case, the house
looked great, which was our top priority, even if the storage unit
was in shambles.
I turned my
focus to my next priority, which was my training course. By now
I was considerably behind the rest of the class, but I put my full
effort into studying and preparing, and by the time I graduated
in May, I received the top marks in the class and was exempted from
the practical portion of the final exam. Focusing on the task at
hand really pays off (especially if the Lord is helping you.)
I had no sooner
graduated that it was on to the next two projects-Mark's high school
graduation and preparing for an international concert tour. The
morning after the ceremony, we were on a plane heading for South
America and Australia. As soon as we returned, I headed for Illinois
to help our daughter with her new baby. Then finally with only two
weeks to be out of our house, I turned to packing-between three
family reunions!
Isn't that just
the way life goes! "When it rains, it pours." That's why it's so
critical to divide and conquer, focusing our attention on the task
at hand, then moving on in a timely manner to the next challenge.
As long as the looming tasks remain on the shelf, we can face what
is in front of us without becoming overwhelmed. When I looked at
what lay ahead in January, it seemed absolutely impossible to accomplish.
Now I look back in amazement at how far I have come by simply focusing
on each task in turn without worrying about how much was left to
do.
Kenneth Cope
wrote a song called "Can't Do It All At Once," which our family
has performed around the world. He recorded the song by making each
of the accompaniment sounds himself and adding them to the track
one by one. The overall effect he achieved is a full orchestra sound,
but he accomplished it one little step at a time. Some of the words
are:
Can't do it
all at once
Can't do it
all at once
Can't do it
all at once
Gotta do it
little by little
Now there's
no need to rush
Can't do it
all at once
Gotta do it
little by little
I'm tired of
messin' up
Trying to do
it all at once
Gotta do it
little by little
One foot in
front of the other
Is much like
a child
Being taught
how to walk
It's parts
of a puzzle
Find one then
Another will
come
Can't do it
all
At
Once…once…once…once…once…once…once…
As we try to
juggle the top priorities in our lives, we all encounter times when
the load is simply too heavy to bear alone. Even shelving future
priorities and focusing on the task at hand is sometimes not enough
to see us through. One of the best things we can do then is to let
others help carry the load.
Let
others help carry the load.
Learning to
let others help us can be a bittersweet experience. Things are seldom
done exactly the way we want them, yet we are grateful for the help,
because we realize we can't succeed without it. Times of serious
illness, accident, death, unemployment, or divorce are just a few
of the times when we may require help beyond our own.
Moving is another
example. Some pieces of furniture are so heavy that it is almost
impossible to lift them alone. Yet there are moments of mixed emotion,
like the time we discovered our brand new mattresses sitting in
a puddle of dirty water instead of on the dry ground nearby. We
swallowed hard as we noticed our fragile boxes at the bottom of
the load, the nicks in the walls where the furniture hit them, the
scratches on our washer and china closet, and all the boxes people
forgot to label. Then we stepped back and took a second look, and
our hearts overflowed with gratitude for the love and selfless service
of so many kind people all carrying part of the load we couldn't
lift. What are a few dents or even a few broken treasures? They
don't begin to compare to the burden that has been taken from our
shoulders.
Then as we learn
to let others help carry our load and we help them in turn, we are
drawn to the One who can truly ease all burdens. He said, "Come
unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give
you rest...For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matt.
11:28, 30)
Keep
your focus on the most important things.
One semester
when I was at BYU, I had more than a full load of classes, many
of them honors courses which required extra work. In addition, I
was the president of a large organization on campus that was adding
to my pressure. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of unlearned
information. At length I determined that I should drop one of my
classes in order to survive, but when I prayed about it, I had the
distinct impression that I was to keep all my classes. In exasperation
I said, "Okay, I'll keep them all, but You'll have to help me through,
because I can't do it by myself." The Lord was true to His word.
Although I could have used more study time, I got straight A's that
semester. He carried the burden I couldn't lift.
When it seems
impossible to prioritize all the things we are required to do, President
Ezra Taft Benson counseled us: " Put Christ first in your life,
and all other things will assume their proper place or drop out
of your life." With our priorities in place, everything that is
really important will be done.
There was a
time when I spent a couple of mornings on splits with the sister
missionaries at great personal sacrifice. Shortly thereafter I was
very ill and in great need of help. The missionaries, who needed
to fill some service hours, showed up at our house and more than
repaid all the time I had spent for them. I have learned again and
again in my life the power of the Savior's admonition: "But seek
ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these
things shall be added unto you." (Matt. 6:33)
Just as the
little boy was able to survive rabies through the proper timely
steps, so each of us can triumph over the challenges in our lives
as we keep our priorities aligned with the Savior and keep walking
forward step by step. Peace and happiness will replace frustration
as we learn to divide and conquer.
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