Let it Snow! Readers Send Warm
Regards and Cool Ideas
Edited and compiled
by Kathy Green
Men Share the Pangs of Loneliness
Read Article
Here
What Loneliness Feels Like, by Susan
Law Corpany
I can fully understand the feelings
those dear sisters felt — but what I wonder is, are the brothers
in the Church too "manly" to admit they have these same
feelings also? Well, for one I know what loneliness feels like.
I was divorced in August of 1997.
From start to finish I really came to the point that I could not
tell which was worse —my marriage or the divorce. It took me more
than 20 years to get to the point that I wanted to associate with
any woman. I was always polite but I didn't trust any woman.
I avoid sitting in Sacrament on Father’s
Day and Mother's Day. Seeing families together with mother and
father is just too much for me to bear because I am lonely. I
feel rejected, unappreciated, depressed, heartbroken and unwanted.
I try to remember the true meaning
of Christmas but through my tears I can't see or feel like doing
decorating at all, and this year I just may not bother to even
think about it. I am so glad when the day after New Year’s Day
is here. Then I can only wish perhaps this year will be better
or will it be as usual.
Name withheld
**
Very good article —and timely too.
The holidays are the hardest to be single or alone. This article
was very nice. We all need to be more sensitive to the greatest
tragedy around us, loneliness.
Might I add that not only women are
subject to loneliness, but men also!! (Besides Mr Krueger.)
Yep!! It's true. In fact, while it is politically correct to
popularize women's plight out there (which I will not minimize
by any means), often the empathy and attentions go to that gender
only. After all, women are more often prone to have a "support
circle" than are single men. Moreover, men are more likely
to be deprived of the companionship of not only a lost love, but
with divorce, separation from their children.
After my divorce years ago, the ward
rallied around my wife (who was living in our huge, beautiful
new home with multiple fireplaces and jetted tubs). They gave
her and my children two Christmas trees (two groups in the ward),
clothes and stockings. I stayed in a sleeping bag on the floor
at my office as I was paying for her and my children's support.
Holidays (and other times) alone are hard for men too!
Once again, nice article.
Name withheld by request
**
This article hits it so square on.
The author expresses the pain of loss and loneliness so well.
I love the comment about focusing on Christ more than families.
That would've helped me make it through so many more sacrament
meetings after the first year of my divorce. “Families Can Be
Together Forever,” ”Love at Home” — these were too hard to sing.
However, I've noticed a change. When
we had a combined Relief Society and priesthood lesson about the
family, I not only made it through, but I also found it sweet
to my taste. I saw examples of hope of imperfect (but to me perfect)
families living the gospel. I wasn't jealous. I simply soaked
it in, knowing that they existed. It made me happy to be reminded
it's possible.
Now an acquaintance is contemplating
leaving her marriage. I'm going to send this article to her and
talk to her. She most definitely will go through this if she leaves
him. She will have to decide how to cope with it. Since her husband
deeply loves her and she has five kids, I hope she'll see that
the only way out is through, not around.
Christ's atonement covered this kind
of pain, but he's not here physically. I know when I'm closest
to him I have more strength, and bitter does become sweet. When
I'm not in that attitude I simply feel the pain. I can't imagine
at all how Christ suffered it for us. How did he do it? How can
he love us that much? I only believe that he does and am thankful,
whatever that means.
Thanks for this poignant article.
You can tell it's from someone who knows.
Pass on my thanks to Susan for her
gift of understanding, empathy, and for writing this so aptly.
J. M.
Orem,
Utah
**
Thank you for once again bringing
to the forefront what it feels like not to have the perfect and
desirable family situation. Thanks for doing it in such a manner
that it might inspire others to reach out to and understand those
who are lonely and/or who don't get to partake of the joys of
a happy family.
I especially enjoyed reading how
others worked their way through such painful periods in their
lives. I am grateful to those who are willing to share their
stories to help strengthen and inspire the rest of us. Susan
Corpany's beautiful and sensitive article and the tidbits sent
in by readers made me feel like a harsh segment of my life story
was being told. It also helped me remember that I, too, must look
into the hearts of others and be receptive to and cognizant of
the Spirit.
Even though I have a much happier
life now, I've been down that path, and my experience and insight
may be valuable in helping others navigate their way back into
wholeness.
Deborah Atkinson,
Denver,
Colorado
**
I just read the article, "What
Loneliness Feels Like" and had to write to say thank you
for it. I have been having a very difficult week and feeling
extremely lonely, so I was drawn to the article.
However, in the middle of reading
it, I called a lady I knew whose husband recently passed away
and invited her to lunch. I realized that if I am lonely, the
best thing I can do is call people who are lonelier or feeling
sad for any reason. I have spent the entire week focusing on my
own pain. The article was the encouragement I needed to get out
and focus on others. Already I feel things are looking up!
Emily Woodhouse
Mesa,
Arizona
**
Susan Corpany has done it again.
She has taken a real subject, exposed it and then wrapped it up
in a big bow. I love how she orchestrates the negative into a
positive. Her time has come and I am thrilled she is writing for
all the world. Her gift is priceless.
Judy Dugan
Washington
State
**** **** **** ****
Legacy of Humility: Planet Earth
Read Article Here
The Bold May Control Wall Street, but the Meek Shall Inherit
the Earth, by H. Wallace Goddard
I have read Brother Goddard's message
and feel it is a wonderful expression of the role meekness plays
in our eternal development. There is no doubt that many people
have the wrong concept of what it means to be meek (and humble
also.)
There is a presumption that meekness
is weakness and humble is grovel. As Brother Goddard states, these
two traits (meekness and humility) were perfected and taught by
the Savior Himself. As we try to follow His example, so we will
better fit ourselves to one day be in His presence because we
will think and feel as He does.
There was never anything groveling
or weak in the Savior of Mankind. It takes strength of character
to be meek and humble.
It is this battle to overcome the
desires of the temporal and replace them with the continuing desire
to be more like our Savior that is the test of this life.
May the Lord bless us in our efforts.
Malcolm McReynolds
Leicester,
England
**
I don't think I have ever read better
sense from anyone, other than a general authority, than I have
heard from Wallace Goddard. His good, honest, loving advice resonates
with my soul and the Spirit testifies to me of the truthfulness
of his words as they apply to my life. Thank you so much for sharing
so many of his articles with us.
Jessica Miller
Lethbridge,
Alberta, Canada.
**** **** **** ****
Christmas Canines
Read Article Here
12 Dogs Combines Kids, Snow,
Christmas, and Fun by Ken Kragen
This is an adorable and wonderful
film. I first heard about this production from Kieth while we
were cruising the Norwegian Fiords with one of your Meridian tours. Kieth and Merrill Jensen were the speakers on our cruise.
Kieth was so excited about this project and I watched diligently
for over a year for this DVD to become available. I encouraged
numerous friends and acquaintances to perform the same "watch"!
I finally found the DVD in Albuquerque,
NM, already boxed for the after Christmas
return. The store graciously opened the box and I bought the last
two DVD's available in Albuquerque!
My children, grandchildren, and I have each sat in their respective
family rooms and watched this story with delight. The delight
not only included the delight of the story but the delight on
each child's face as they were "living" the story. I
wish there were more of these wonderful films available for the
family. Right on, Kieth and Ken! We all appreciate your hard
work.
Dorothy Miller
Fair Oaks, California
**
Just by looking at the pictures and
reading the captions, I can't wait to see the movie. This will
be my Christmas gift to everyone. This is certainly a "classic"
movie that will outlast any previous Christmas classic! I cried
and laughed and cried just reading this article. Can't wait to
tell everyone in my Ward and also can't wait for the big screen
showing. Please hurry!
Barbara Butler
Scottsdale,
Arizona
**** **** **** ****
Business Class
Read Article Here
Unfinished Business. The Work
and the Glory III: A House Divided, by Thomas Baggaly
I am really disappointed in the news
that film #3 is going to be the last of the series. I looked
forward to all the books as they came out and purchased all of
them. I also have the first two films and had been looking forward
to the rest. We don't get a lot of Mormon films in our area so
have to buy most of them if we want to see them. We enjoyed the
first film in the theater and also Saints and Soldiers
about the same time. If possible, a TV series would be great,
as we do get BYU TV. It would be nice if a listing of what is
coming up would be available. Meridian has been a great resource.
Sue Kepner
Omro,
Wisconsin
**
I enjoyed your remarks; however,
I have to say that my husband and I watched the sequel last night,
God's Army , and it did have a very slow "churchy
feeling" in the beginning, and I was wondering if buying
it was a mistake.
Then it seemed to change, and both
my husband and I had to wipe a few tears, actually I didn't want
to give in to my feelings and let the tears flow, because I was
afraid I wouldn't be able to stop. It was a couple of minutes
after it ended before we got up, and we didn't want to talk because
that "would have spoiled it all." It was sad for me
to read that it bombed in the theatres.
The Work and the Glory II
was really spellbinding also, and I found myself upset knowing
that it would be another year till the next sequel. We have a
wonderful branch here on Salt Spring Island, British Columbia, Canada,
just north of the state of Washington
on the west coast, and we get together once a month for a "movie
night", and we have shown most of these movies.
Everyone loved them. We can't wait
to show the sequel to God's Army, although I know for a
fact that we will need a couple of boxes of Kleenex.
Jenny Svendsen
Salt
Spring Island, British Columbia, Canada
**** **** **** ****
Ship Shape
Read Article Here
Meridian Cruises
I just returned from my first cruise
experience — and what a fabulous experience it was! I sailed to
the Eastern Mediterranean and it exceeded
all my expectations!! Scot and Maurine were wonderful speakers
and lovely people.
I am excited to read Meridian Magazine
online and will make it a part of my daily schedule! Thank you,
Proctor family, for making my first cruise experience amazing!
Susan Catudal
Beaconsfield, Quebec, Canada
**** **** **** ****
Rock Art Science
Read Article Here
Petroglyphs:
Rock Art or Rock Writing? by Ronald P. Millett, Eldon G. Lytle,
and John P. Pratt
"In other words, if the true
scientific scholars can't make heads nor [sic] tails of the figures,
then we can be absolutely sure that rank amateurs have no chance."
Solidly reminiscent of the chances
ascribed to humble Ventris and Chadwick, who succeeded in deciphering
Linear B after all the Greek experts and genuine anthropologists
had cracked their heads against it and declared it not to be Greek.
It was a pleasure to read this fascinating
article and to remember Eldon Lytle for whom I twice worked (briefly
at BYU and for many years at ALPS) to create
English-French translation software.
Russell Bateman
Provo,
Utah
**
I loved the article by John Pratt
and others on petroglyphs and the work by LaVan Martineau. It
is good to bring to light great scholarship. Petroglyphs have
been difficult for scholars to figure out. You'd think they would
all be happy that someone has made some progress.
Anyway, hats off to these three scholars
who have recognized the work of an open-minded scholar. In doing
that they have revealed themselves to be open-minded as well.
Congratulations.
Terry Blodgett, Languages,
Southern Utah University
**
I have so enjoyed reading your articles
on Meridian Magazine and appreciate all your insights into many
interesting topics. I have been inspired to continue my learning
in the fields of science and become more immersed in the scriptures
to find answers.
Your article on Indian writings caught
my attention because I have been studying a book that has been
in my family for many years. I was looking through books in my
father's library and the book The Rocks Begin to Speak
caught my eye. I opened it up and read how LaVan worked at the
Air Route Traffic Control
Center in Korea.
Having worked as an air traffic controller in Salt
Lake myself, I really wanted to get to know this man. Lavan is a first
cousin of my grandfather Arah Martineau. My grandfather was very
interested in LaVan's work and the book was a gift to him. My
reading of this book was the reason I was anxious to open your
article today.
And then to discover that his work
was your main source of information brought me so much joy as
I read. Thank you again for sharing your talents with the world.
I am so blessed to be a part of a great family and am especially
grateful you have chosen to write about LaVan Martineau, a true
pioneer of his day.
Chantele Willard
Eagle
Mountain, Utah
**** **** **** ****
New Angles on Angels
Read Article Here
Blessed by Angels by H. Wallace
Goddard
Blessed by Angels by H. Wallace Goddard
was a great article for an LDS magazine. It wasn't just a rehash
of well-worn principles that made us yawn and skim. Instead, it
stretched our spiritual imagination without going out-of-bounds
doctrinally. He took a kernel of a concept from President Faust's
April 2006 General Conference address and fleshed it out for more
practical application in our lives. We need more columns that
motivate by showing the majesty of the fullness of the Gospel
and reveal new angles on truth that we "never had supposed"
(Moses 1:10).
Dr. Mark Matheson
Highland,
Utah
**
Once again, and as usual, I am touched
by your deep thinking and expressive writing. You say about your
intimate encounters with those who have passed on, "I know
from experience."
I say, "Amen.”
It is a relief to me to hear someone
describe the same kind of experiences that I have had as facts.
When I have tired to share my experiences with close family, most
of the time they look at me questioningly — like, "Have you
lost your mind?" or "You should keep these things to
yourself." So, for the most part, I have.
Also, I have not thought the situation
of ministering angels through to the extent that you have, and
I so appreciate your left-brained approach to what have been for
me a series of marvelous right-brained experiences. I also appreciate
your inclusion of the quote from President Joseph F. Smith. Somehow
his words give me both focus and permission to continue to invite
these experiences into my life.
Most of my experiences with the ministering
of my kindred dead have come when I have needed emotional or physical
healing, or when I have been involved in genealogical research.
Most of them have been accompanied by emotional feelings of the
kind that Alma describes as a "burning" or "swelling
in the bosom;" so I have known in my heart that these things
are of God and that I am not just weird.
One of the lines that taught me the
most in your article was this one: Rather than wait for Grandpa
to come to me, I was to seek him."
Now, I shall seek guidance, especially
from my ancestors as I continue to do their work, without fear
of being inappropriate. I will set a chair beside me, so that
they will feel welcome.
Thank You, Brother Goddard, for publishing
this article.
Carma Brown
Salt Lake City, Utah
**
I was enriched by Wallace Goddard's
article, "Blessed by Angels." For years I have studied
out-of-the body and near-death experiences, and know several people
who have had such experiences.
Several years ago my wife and I were
part of a CES group who retraced a portion of the Mormon Trail,
using four-wheel drive vehicles. Our last encampment was at Henefer,
Utah, about 30 miles from Salt Lake City.
Knowing of my interests, the wife
of one of our group shared a personal story with me. She had
been very close to her father, whom she described as having a
humorous, fun-loving personality. After his passing she would
speak to him during the day as she busied herself around the house.
Sometimes her one-sided conversations would last for hours.
One night, she had a vivid dream.
Her father came to her in an out-of-doors setting, standing by
a table, and dressed in a suit, which he was not wont to wear
often in his lifetime. He had an uncharacteristically serious
look on his face. Calling her by name, he asked that she please
not spend so much time talking to him, as he was finding it difficult
to get things done. She told me that she still speaks with her
father, but spends much less time doing so.
Paul Thomas Smith
Centerville,
Utah
**
Thank you so much, Brother Goddard,
for writing this article to reassure us that our deceased loved
ones do care about us and will come to help us if we call upon
their council. And that we are not bothering them by asking them
to come. I have done this, and I testify that they are there to
come to our aide if we need them. They have come to help me.
Marilyn Curtiss
Murrieta,
California
**
I particularly related to this article
because of my son, who spent 8 months in jail. He often said
he felt comforted by his grandfather, who passed away about eight
years ago. This was my husband's dad. After he was released,
he still felt his grandpa's comfort and guidance. He didn't hear
his voice or see him; just felt his presence and that he cared
about his life.
His girlfriend, who is especially
gifted with discerning spirits, said she felt my son's grandpa
was around, too. And when my mother died, I was feeling bad about
letting her go, fulfilling her request not to be given any special
treatment if she was dying. She had a living will expressly stating
that she didn't want this treatment.
So when she was hospitalized with
pneumonia, we asked the nurses not to give her any special treatments
other than oxygen to help her breathe. She had brittle bones
and they would pound on her back, which hurt her horribly. She
died rather peacefully a couple of days later.
I was saying my nightly prayers and
hoping I did the right thing by letting her go and felt and saw
her presence and the assurance that she was fine and I shouldn't
worry about what happened. That was a tremendous lift to me.
And my son has been greatly comforted knowing that someone from
the other side is watching over him.
In March 2002, my grandson was sealed
to his mother and stepfather in the Ogden Temple. My son
was one of the witnesses to the sealing. As we were gathering
in the room, my son mouthed to me that my husband, who passed
away in May of 2001, was there and standing right behind him.
We all could feel our departed family in attendance. It was just
beautiful.
Another time was just after my husband
passed away. He died on a Sunday, and on Monday we were to go
to the mortuary and make arrangements. He was deserving of the
American Flag and a monument from the Air Force as he was in the
Cold War, but we needed to find a number so it could be addressed.
We, my children and I, were going through papers to find this
number. My son stood and said "Dad, please help us find this
paper with the number on it." Within a few minutes, we found
three envelopes in which was written in his handwriting the number
we were searching for. I know that the departed can help if we
just ask. Just like the Lord Jesus Christ said, "Ask and
ye shall receive.”
Name withheld by request
**
After reading this article, I don't
feel as foolish by communicating with my deceased grandfathers
and grandmothers. The spirit that is conveyed through this communication
has touched my heart. There have been times that I have actually
heard their voices, especially when I am doing family history.
I need answers and I ask them — where are you, who are these people,
how can I find them? And then answers come, sometimes softly,
sometimes quite profoundly. Comfort comes from them as well.
I wholeheartedly believe that those who are on the other side
of the veil are there waiting to help us in whatever we need in
righteousness.
Thank you for a wonderful article.
It is a comfort.
Alana Rhodes
Tooele,
Utah
**
Dear Brother. Goddard, thank you
so much for your notes this day, remembering angels in our lives,
our very dear ones that have passed away. My dear Aunt Myrtle
passed away one week ago. In her home, I experienced many happy
holidays and her love for me.
I now know that she's being taught
the true Gospel and one year can't come too soon for me to do
her work in the Temple,
my labor of love.
I have often invited my folks to
ride with me and talk awhile and give me some advice, or enjoy
a sunset or enjoy something that we used to do together. I'm grateful
that you express that same concept. When a son of ours was married
in the temple, the elderly Sealer after the ceremony while putting
the alter cloth straight said, "Oops, I better straighten
this up, my mother may be watching."
Much aloha to you and your family.
Irene Tukuafu
Nauvoo,
Illinois
**
Thank you for sharing your personal
experiences with loved ones beyond the veil. They are only as
close as a thought, as you shared. Your experiences warmed my
heart and confirmed my own experiences.
Peggy McFarland
Oregon
**** **** **** ****
Converted Cop Arrests Hearts
Read Article
Here
Magnifying Your Talents: Ripples
of Adult Conversion, Part 4, by Paul Bishop
I just read the final installation
of Paul Bishop's articles. I haven't written to Meridian before, but want to this time. I have looked forward to each
installment by Paul Bishop. I have greatly enjoyed reading about
his experiences, especially as an adult convert. His article
caught my heart. I can't seem to write in this email my feelings
exactly. Please just let him know his writing really touched
me and I so much appreciated and looked forward to his writing.
Janet B. Layosa
South Jordan, Utah
**
I wanted to share my thoughts about
Paul Bishop's articles. They are so amazing! I couldn't picture
him working in that field as a member of the LDS
Church. I can understand that after
you are baptized, your feelings and sins are gone in the drain.
Going to work on sexual crimes is really bad, but Paul is very
humble and understanding that he divides his religion from the
workplace where he works. Just amazing...
My father was the FBI agent for almost
nine years before leaving to look after his four children and
work near his home and family. My mother told me that he was
so brave, and he was not happy to use his pistols or rifles for
killing, but he knew that his religion had nothing to do with
his workplace. I was so proud of him for being humble about what
he had done. Pride is not our thing, either, but I humbly was
proud of my father.
I hope to read more of Paul Bishop's
articles or books if I find any.
Thank you for putting that in Meridian
Magazine to be read.
Mary Matthews-Bonner
California
**
Dear Bro. Bishop — I guess that it
is now Bishopric Bishop, Thanks so much for this series and for
previous articles. We have all needed this series. I will forward
it on to others. Of course, I will first ask them if they read
it, since I have already promoted Meridian to my family and friends.
I especially appreciate your personal
accounts in your articles. I am not in any way involved in
police work, but your examples are
such good examples — they are believable instances that tell us
that we too can receive inspiration in all we do.
Bobbi Peterson
Pinetop,
Arizona
**
I read today the concluding article
of Paul Bishop’s series and felt the desire to express my gratitude
for his putting into eloquent words what I have on occasion thought
or experienced. May God bless him to create literature that will
uplift mankind, as this has.
Michael Chandler
St.
George, Utah
**** **** **** ****
Eternal Love
Read Article Here
Grateful for the Love of Heavenly
Family, by Darla Isackson
My life has been incredibly busy
with trip to do family history research and I have not kept up
with reading my Meridian Magazine as I do when home.
So, when I opened my email today,
I was delighted to see your article "Grateful for the Love
of Heavenly Family." Mere words cannot begin to convey my
thanks for the sweet message it contained. I too have had experiences
when I have learned with sureness that our deceased relatives
are near and can be a source of comfort, help, and inspiration.
I second your testimony with my own
that those beyond the veil do progress and can become what they
couldn't be while in mortal life. What a great blessing in was
in my life to have my stepfather visit me from beyond the veil
and let me know how sorry he was for things that happened between
us.
Although I had worked earnestly for
almost three decades to forgive him in an effort to stop the almost
nightly nightmares, the nightmares vanished with his visit. And
that was almost 12 years ago! And what a comfort it is to know
that while I certainly must not procrastinate the day of my own
repentance, progression does not stop at mortal death.
Thank you for sharing some very personal
experiences to help us learn of the great blessing we have of
belonging to the family of Christ. Although we have never met,
your writings on Meridian Magazine make me feel as if we are friends.
Ann C. Richardson
Utah
**** **** **** ****
Architects of Achievement
Read Article Here
Building Better Children, by Orson
Scott Card
What a terrific article! My sentiments
exactly — with the clearest explanation I've read yet.
Roberta C.
Oakton,
Virginia
**
What an amazing article! It reflects
my feelings completely. I've raised six wonderful, intelligent,
extraordinarily gifted children. Are they wonderful, intelligent
and gifted because of me? Not at all. More like in spite of me,
but the one thing that I can look back on and feel good about
is that I tried to provide a variety of opportunities for them
to see what interested them and what they were naturally good
at. Then I tried to provide them the means and opportunities to
expand those gifts without any pressure from me.
In spite of criticism from my peer
group, I could see the value in playing video games and have a
son who's a genius with computers because I didn't make use of
the computer a conditional thing. My artistic son was provided
with materials to create, but no pressure from me to do so.
All my kids gravitated toward music
in their own unique ways. They're all very gifted musicians, but
it's been a fascinating thing to see how differently they use
that gift. Some play instruments, all of them sing, one of them
is a DJ with an incredible knowledge of songs and artists in his
brain! In spite of their intelligence, for some of my kids, school
was pure torture.
Unfortunately, these days, school
is a place to try to make everyone the same. Variation is not
looked upon kindly and, sadly, they choose the lowest common denominator.
I have all these right-brained kids, who have amazing capacities
for learning and truly love learning, but are restricted by their
teachers and beaten over the head with homework that bores them.
I've lost count of the classes my kids have failed because they
didn't do their homework. Never mind that they can ace a test
in the subject.
One of my sons had to repeat geometry
in high school and during his second time through, he was presented
with a certificate for high honors in geometry from the state
exams he had taken in the first class! Something's wrong with
the system when this happens.
I became a rebel mom when I saw my
oldest son becoming a very angry child in junior high because
everyone (including me) was pressuring him to do his homework.
I was sucked into the pressure from teachers and other parents
that I had to make him do it. Then I finally realized that I was
ruining my relationship with him and it wasn't worth it. I told
him I wouldn't pressure him anymore (gasp!) and that I knew he
knew what it would take to get through the classes. From that
point on, our relationship improved and he stumbled his way through
school (not that he didn't learn. He just failed classes because
he wouldn't do homework).
He did graduate and he's a happily
married, functional human being with a good job (computers, of
course).
Have my kids always made good choices?
Oh no. And that's hard for me to watch, but I continue to love
them. I've discovered that some of my kids have he ability to
look ahead and make good choices and others seem to have to learn
things the hard way. All I can do is teach them the best I can
and then let them make their choices. But, we all love each other
and enjoy being together and they have found or are in the process
of finding their own niches in life.
Thank you so much for your insight!
I always enjoy your articles!
Inger Orr
Upland,
California
**
I agree with every word in this article,
as well as every word in Card's articles on homework. My son
attended a Montessori school for the past four years. He never
had a day of homework. The philosophy in Montessori was that
the kids worked hard at school and when the school day was over
it was over. Even though they worked hard at school, the work
was designed to spark interest and a love of learning in the kids.
My son chose what he would work on
from day to day. With gentle guidance from his teacher he gravitated
toward the things that really interested him, while still covering
the things he needed to learn. As there were children from ages
6 to 9 together in the class, the older children were able to
help the younger kids with work.
There was never a reward for learning
other than the great feeling of "I did it!" and "I
know that!" We never saw a sticker on a paper or any other
artificial payoff. By the same token, there were never any punishments
such as “marks” or whatever other things teachers use to threaten
kids. If my son wasn't prepared to do well on his spelling test,
the punishment was the disappointment he felt when he didn't perform
to his own standards. After his four years at the school he had
a love of learning that we couldn't stop. His natural curiosity
and the joy from having knowledge drove him to achieve and learn
for no one but himself.
Unfortunately, his school had to
close. He is now at our public elementary school, which is rated
as one of the highest in the state. It's considered an excellent
"four-star school." It is a good school and my son
has a great teacher; however, I am beginning to see that as parents
we are going to have to work hard to make sure his new school
environment doesn't undo all the good that was done in Montessori.
Every paper, and I mean every
paper, comes home with a "Great Job" sticker on it.
Candy is given out as rewards for doing well. "Marks"
are distributed as punishment for infractions, or for forgetting
homework, etc. I am constantly having to remind my son that while
candy is great for the few moments you are eating it, it's the
satisfaction of learning something new or doing a job well that
matters. I have also had to console him when he came home with
a “mark” after forgetting his library book. What happened to
natural consequences?
When we remove the internal, personal
rewards and disappointments from kids and replace them with an
arbitrary system that has nothing to do with their own view of
things, we rob them of the opportunity to build confidence, excitement
for learning, and a sense of responsibility for their own accomplishments
or failures.
The reward system extends even to
moral behavior. The school held a coat drive to collect coats
for the needy. Instead of stressing to the kids that there are
children just like them that don't have some of the basic necessities
and need help, they offered a reward for the most coats donated.
If I remember correctly, it was a ride to McDonalds in a Hummer
limo. The same reward that was offered up for the most items
sold in the school fundraiser. And yet people wonder why we are
having problems in the neighborhood with vandalism, or why kids
seem so selfish. Gee, I wonder why?
As I check over homework each night
I think about the time that is going down the drain. This was
time we could be using to enjoy each other, to talk about gospel
principles, or to read a book together for fun. We might have
had a moment to remind the kids that marks, stickers, candy and
Hummer limos are ridiculous ways in which the system bribes our
children to do what they naturally would do anyway, if given the
chance and the effort from the adults in their lives.
My son is a boy who used to do math
at home for fun (something I never understood!), and now is a
boy who regularly says "I hate math" — thanks to all
the homework and lack of real instruction he gets from his math
teacher. I am angry that poor instruction and a dependence on
busy work is convincing my son that he is no longer good at or
enjoying a subject that used to be one of his strongest and most
liked.
If public schools would use Montessori
principles in their curriculum, they could be turning out graduates
who are confident, creative, responsible, compassionate, and capable.
Why isn't that better than teaching kids to ask, "What's
in it for me?" Why can't we get teachers who want to instill
a love of learning? And, why is it that so many teachers don't
even seem to like kids?
Of course I want my kids to succeed
academically, but I want them to do so for their own need to feel
successful. I want them to find what it is that they want to
do for the rest of their lives. They have to make a living: They
should enjoy it. Beyond that, what is more important to me is
that my children love and live the gospel, that they are kind
to everyone, honest and courageous enough to stand up for themselves
and others when they need to.
This was going to be a quick comment,
but I guess this topic has been brewing in me for a while. Thanks
for the chance to spout off.
J. M.
Indianapolis Indiana
**** **** **** ****
A More Excellent Way
Read Article Here
Consecration in Marriage, by H.
Wallace Goddard
Wally hit another home run, right
out of the park and into my heart. I rededicate myself to act
redemptively with my dear husband.
Karen Brash McGreer
Medford,
New Jersey
**
I have a good marriage, but your
article gave me opportunity for deep and thoughtful introspection
as to how much more I can give and how much better I can make
my marriage by my own efforts regardless of what my husband chooses
to do. Thank you ever so much for the wonderful insights into
the topic of consecration as a whole. Efforts to implement the
concepts you discuss will keep me busy the rest of my life, I
am sure. I will make a copy of this article to reread many times
over.
Robin Eberline
Soldotna,
Alaska
**** **** **** ****
Beauty is in the Eye of the Potato
Read Article
Here
Funeral Potatoes and Other Inspirations,
by Clark L. and Kathryn H. Kidd
I stumbled upon this site by accident
while looking for a recipe for funeral potatoes. I found so much
inspiration and so many ideas on the very first page that I quickly
sent the info on to my friends. Now, I've come back, found the
home page and I'm loading up on other nuggets of knowledge and
inspiration. Wonderful, wonderful wonderful. Keep up the good
work.
Vicki Thompson
Shasta Lake, California
**** **** **** ****
Gift Exchange
Read
Article Here
Safety First, by Susan Law Corpany
Great article. You have a gift for
writing. Keep it coming.
Pam Higgins
Lincoln,
Nebraska
**** **** **** ****
Royal Treatment
Read Article Here
When Kings and Queens
Come to Call, by H. Wallace Goddard
I just want to say a quick thanks
for the article, "When Kings and Queens Come to Call."
Although I'm single and childless, I have between 80 and 140 princes
and princesses who "come to call" every semester in
my university classrooms — depending upon my class load and teaching
assignments.
Because I'm a BYU grad and had the
kind of spiritual nurturing and mentoring you describe there during
my undergraduate years, my life was changed for the better. I
now teach at a public university in the Midwest,
but the lessons I learned through being treated like a princess
by a few key professors sank deep. The only way I can repay those
kind men and women who had the vision you describe is to pass
it on to my students.
Because I know my vision of who my
students are is different than the vision they may have of themselves,
I take particular care to treat them with respect while demanding
a lot of them. When I am successful, they know that I expect them
to work very hard, but that I believe in them and care about them
and their success. It is my way of trying to spread the gospel
in the covert way that I hope will one day lead them to the further
discover of who they really are.
Thank you for your timely message.
When I get to this point in the semester and am bogged down with
grading and preparation for final exams, it's good to be reminded
what I'm really about.
Sue Neimoyer
Instructor of Music
History
University of Michigan-Dearborn
