Meridian Readers Address
Taboos with Tact
Edited and compiled
by Kathy Green
Man’s Search for Happiness
Ever After
Read Article
Here
From Honeymoon
to Happily Ever After: Preparing for an Intimately Fulfilling
Relationship, by Laura M. Brotherson, CFLE, for the LDS
Marriage Network
Bravo for Meridian Magazine.
The article by Laura M. Brotherson is excellent and much
needed. The first in twenty years since Brent A. Barlow's
article "They Twain Shall Be One — Thoughts on Intimacy
in Marriage" appeared in the September 1986 Ensign.
President Spencer W. Kimball's observation seems to have
gone ignored by the bulk of the church membership although
I recently heard of a nearby ward which gave separate
lessons to the Priesthood and Relief Society on this topic.
Maybe the Victorian Dark Ages are finally coming to an
end.
Books and a counselor have
told me, "You can live without sex.” Article after
article appears telling everyone how wonderful their marriage
can be if they'll stay out of debt, go to the temple,
pray together, communicate and spend private time together.
The most serious issue facing young marrieds is hidden
in the closet. It's NOT a case of just "doing what
comes naturally."
I was in such a marriage
for twenty years. We never did achieve real intimacy.
Sex was only for getting pregnant. My wife’s attitude
was, "Sometimes you just have to grin and bear it."
This and the misguided advice, "You can live without
it" prevented the happiness that our marriage could
have had. It ended in divorce and no children. I would
hope no one ever has to go through that kind of relationship.
One other word of advice
I offer from experience. Never, never, NEVER spend the
first nights of your honeymoon at either spouse's parents'
house.
Name withheld by request
**
My own experience leads me
to suspect there are many married couples where at least
one spouse does not like who they are, and at best grudgingly
share themselves with their spouse. I have always actively
and consistently tried to encourage and be supportive
of my wife despite herself when it comes to her indulgent
self consuming fixation with her physical looks and weight.
I believe our society has
way over-sold this culture of self-absorption with which
we are daily bombarded by the media. Unfortunately too
many of us, women in particular, have bought into it.
This is such destructive behavior, which ripples well
beyond marital intimacy. When I read your statement,
“I like who I am, and I’m happy to share it with you,”
that turned the light switch on.
I’ve been married for over
20 years and pretty much most of that time I don’t think
my wife has ever “liked who she is” physically. I have
always found my wife very physically attractive and my
intimate feelings for her have grown sweeter through the
years as I’ve come to know her and we have worked together
and shared as husband and wife and as parents through
both the good and the bad. I probably feel the closest
to her when she takes the time so we can talk together
and she shares her concerns about raising the children
and talking about what is going on her life in the same
way I see her with her closest friends.
However because of her physical
and mental withdrawal I don’t know what my wife feels
or thinks during those intimate times. Even though I
appreciate her making herself available, the intimate
spiritual and physiological connection never culminates
the way I think our Heavenly Father intended. At best,
I always feel just half full.
Perhaps sometime you could
write about dealing with issues such as this in an intimate
marriage relationship. I know ultimately my spouse has
to make peace with herself and accept who she is before
she will ever be able to give herself to me. So I continue
to try and keep an eternal perspective on my marriage.
Name withheld by request
**** **** **** ****
Lithuanian Forefather
Read
Article Here
Pioneer Day, Lithuanian
Style, by Boyd J. Hale
Thank you for writing this
article. It gives me hope that I will be able to do my
family history on my father's side. My grandfather came
to the U.S from Vilnius, Lithuania.
Jessie Todd
**** **** **** ****
Treasures of Knowledge
Read Article
Here
The Human Heritage of
Creativity by Joseph Brickey
Please send brother Brickey
my heartfelt gratitude for touching on, and expanding
on, the concept of creativity and some very core insights
into our existence and purpose on earth. If only this
concept could be embedded and remembered by all of us,
especially those of us who struggle from day to day in
the "animal" realm to lift us into the Celestial
realm, if by no other means than by having a different
and expanded point of view.
As with all my treasures
from Meridian and many other sources, I will guard this
one and borrow from it frequently, giving proper credit,
in my own little personal ministry.
Thanks to you, and to our
creator, for the wonderful truths He gives us, and in
this case, through you.
Paul Gibson
Salt Lake City,
Utah
**** **** **** ****
I just want to thank you
for the great magazine. I am spiritually lifted by the
articles. I have been a reader for several years now and
it is indeed a blessing for me.
Dan Morris
Moncks Corner,
South Carolina
**** **** **** ****
Made to Order
Read Article Here
A Little More Love Made
it Happen — "The Order is Love" reviewed by
James Welch
Regarding the article "A
Little More Love Made it Happen" by James Welch,
I must say I read it with a warm heart and happy memories.
In 1978, at the age of 20,
I played the part of Catherine Ann in the musical "The
Order is Love." Our stake made quite a big production
of this play in order to earn money for the building of
a new stake center. Although I remember much about the
play, I have forgotten a lot of the details, and reading
Brother Welch's article brought many of those details,
including characters’ names, names of songs, etc., back
into my mind.
Performing this wonderful
musical in the summer of 1978 remains one of the fondest
memories of my life. I recall not only the wonderful
quality of the play itself, but the camaraderie experienced
among cast members. Working together for a common purpose,
and the wonderful outpouring of support from the entire
stake (and also many non-members in our community of Los
Alamos, NM) as we performed the musical, will never be
forgotten.
Thanks for the memories,
Brother Welch.
Robin Randolph
Bayfield, Colorado
**** **** **** ****
See You in Sacramento!
Read Article Here
Sacramento Temple Open House
to Begin
Thank you for the wonderful
article on the Sacramento Temple open house. My husband
and I live in Tucson AZ, but have come up for the weekend
to Sacramento to take family, who are not members of the
Church, through the open house. I was born and raised
in Sacramento so this has a lot of special meaning. This
Saturday has been something we have been waiting for since
the announcement of the building of the temple here.
What a wonderful experience
I know this will be. The stories surrounding our getting
here as well as securing tickets for the first day of
the open house are stories in themselves. Again thank
you for the coverage and who knows, maybe we'll see someone
from Meridian there on the first day!
Roberta Oliver
Tucson, Arizona
**** **** **** ****
Podcast and Crew
Read Article Here
The Cricket and Seagull
Fireside Chat with Steven Kapp Perry
How excited I was to read
and hear about the Lifetime Achievement Award for Ron
Simpson. It was fun to listen to all the tributes to him.
I, too, am indebted to Ron. Back in the '60's, before
Ron left on a mission, I sang in a quartet called "The
Crescendos," and Ron was our arranger/bass player.
Just us four gals and Ron! We sang with Janie Thompson,
of the BYU Program Bureau.
Ron knew his "stuff'
then, and guided our singing. Due to his tutoring, I continued
singing throughout my marriage. I had a Youth Choir group
for over 15 years, and used many of the ideas and songs
that Ron shared with me. Little did he realize, way back
then, that his influence would touch the lives of many
teenagers in Alberta, Canada.
I knew years ago that someday
he would be a powerful icon in the music field. So, I
too, wish to thank, honor, and congratulate Ron Simpson
for receiving the Achievement Award!
Barbara (Bowen) Michel
Glenwood, Alberta,
Canada
**** **** **** ****
Boys to Men
Read Article Here
Pornography: Molesting
the Minds of Our Youth, by Dr. Dean W. Belnap
It is a sad statement of
fact that this is not only affecting our youth, but it
has become the tool of choice of Satan amongst our dear
priesthood bearers.
It pains me to say that I
am aware of two marriages in my own branch that have been
destroyed by this serpent. The denial and the perpetuation
of the evil are so hard to understand. It is obviously
prevalent, and LDS men are bearing the brunt of Satan's
thrust in these last days.
I would that the Brethren
could bring this topic up every day of the week. Our
sisters are suffering. Their hearts are broken. Their
families are being torn apart. And their constant cry
is, "please honor your priesthood."
I pray for my sisters and
their dear husbands every night. I have their names on
the Temple roll. Everyone needs to be alerted to the
reality of this insidious, peeling away of the very robes
of the valiant ones. I know that there is a sifting, but
I don't want my friends to be a part of the tares.
Please can we address this
issue more and more? Can this become more of a part of
the teaching program in the priesthood meetings? Can
wives be given more "tools" to have in their
hands before anything ever happens? So many times, wives
are so astounded at the revelation of the nature of the
sin, that they are dumbfounded and ashamed and hardly
know how to address it. They need to know that their
bishops will be available to give them a priesthood blessing,
even when the spirit has withdrawn from their marriages.
The sisters feel as though they are being turned away
in their "grief," that no-one cares about the
terrible burden they've had thrust upon them.
Thank you for this part of
your program. I appreciate it so much. And, yes, I have
read the latest Ensign. I'm crying for more of
the same.
Name withheld by request
**** **** **** ****
Meridian Marksmanship
Read Article Here
Goal-Setting Focuses Your
Efforts In Recovery by Fay A. Klingler
I always look forward to
articles by Sister Klingler. She hits everything right
in the bull’s eye! Please keep up the good work. I'm
forwarding her article to several others whom I'm sure
will be impressed and helped.
Nancy Beck
Paradise, California
**** **** **** ****
Text and Subtext
Read Article Here
Journal Writing: A Journey
of Self-discovery, by Ann Perry
Please accept my sincere
admiration for your article in the Meridian magazine regarding
your trip to France recently. Your insights in various
aspects of living have certainly awakened similar thoughts
from my own experiences. For example, I have felt the
same way you described, viewing the Monet pool paintings.
Fabulous.
Also, I have found myself
ridiculing the French people for cowardice militarily
until recently I recalled an experience I had in France
as a young boy. My father had accepted a job in Germany
and we moved there in 1937. Yes, Hitler was in full power.
In 1937, I was put in the American School of Paris, because
the German school I was attending was too Nazified for
my father.
Before I entered the school,
Dad decided we would go visit some of the battlefields
of WWI, and so we went to Chateau Thierry, San Michel
and Vimy Ridge. We wound up just outside of Verdun at
a place called the Trench of Bayonets. The French had
erected a big monument over a section of a French trench
that had collapsed under a horrific artillery barrage
and the soldiers were buried alive. They were on alert
to “go over” when it happened. France left them where
they were and built the memorial. I remember standing
there at a little iron fence between the large columns
and looking at the rifle barrels with the fixed bayonets
on them thinking, Gee, they were alive one minute defending
their country and the next minute they were the honored
dead. Rosaries and flowers had been thrown in the area.
I was only 9 years old and very impressed.
This memory drew me up sharply
at what I was guilty of and I thought, “What would I do
if I heard someone mocking Normandy, Sicily, North Africa,
Korea, Viet Nam or today our soldiers in Iraq?” I was
ashamed of my lack of humility but your article has really
helped me deal with my attitude.
Leon R Evans
Katy, Texas
