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Music
and Fashion, and All of the Passion: Doctrine and Dressing on Our Readers’
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Edited
and Compiled by Kathy Green
Plain and Precious
The First Vision and Religious Tolerance -- Read Article Here
Thank you so much for posting the Joseph Fielding McConkie articles from the Joseph Smith Symposium in Palmyra. He is a real inspiration and it is refreshing to hear someone who speaks plainly and clearly about the truths of the restoration. I always like a good doctrinal talk. Thanks again.
Kurt Busselberg
Mesa, Arizona
**
Great talk on the doctrine of the two ways. Members
shy away from black and white. But, that is the result of creeping secularism.
We were abundantly warned against that in most recent Conference. Looking forward to the next installment.
Todd Lillywhite
Murry, Utah
**
Brother McConkie has always been a favorite speaker/author of mine. This talk just goes to confirm why. No matter the subject, his insights are always relevant in my understanding of gospel truths. He never pulls punches. Always tells it like it is. Something we all need to hear and do more of.
Karen
Lampe
Bloomingdale, New Jersey
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Two Churches Only -- Read Article Here
I have a step-brother, an evangelical minister, who has been working to establish "common ground" between evangelical Christians and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He had given me a DVD of a friendly discussion between a Baptist Pastor and a devout Latter-day Saint and asked my opinion as to whether or not this could be the start of the two groups "coming together." While watching the DVD, I appreciated the efforts of the LDS brother to establish rapport with his friend, but I felt that a lot of the discussion was based on "tenets" and avoided a direct declaration of the truth in order to avoid hurt feelings.
I have struggled with how to express my feelings about this DVD to my step-brother, but Brother McConkie's article helped me to realize that I need to be humble, but bold in declaring my beliefs. I'm sure my step-brother will be disappointed in my response, but I hope our love for each other will out-weigh our differences and that we can continue to "disagree without being disagreeable" as I have with numerous friends in the past.
Lee
Hill
Salt Lake City, Utah
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Teacher, Teacher, I Declare!
Maryland Parents Fight Homosexual Curriculum What People Who Care Can Do -- Read Article Here
I would ask why sexuality has a place in the school curriculum and spirituality does not. From what this article related this program goes way beyond biology, the basic care of the human body and procreation. This deals with peoples’ belief systems, personal morals (or lack thereof) and personal preferences and should not be forced into the public school system. Sort of like the arguments against teaching religion, saying the Pledge of Allegiance and so on.
I. Lightle
Maine
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What Can I Say?
How You Can Explain Why Our Society Should Preserve Marriage -- Read Article Here
This was an excellent article! I was a lot like the lawyer friend who didn't know what to say when this topic came up. I now feel that I can intellectually express my concerns about this topic and put it in a way that others will relate to.
Joe
Kelepolo
Peoria, Arizona
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Readers Respond to Electrical Current Events: A Modest Proposal -- Read Article Here
I do not have children, but I wish to point out that when you live in Florida you can shower sometimes three times a day to cool off and still not be comfortable while trying to keep temple covenants.
In regards to wearing garments and exercising, I think it is wrong to teach children that you cannot wear a tank top while exercising. Hey, have any of you people in Utah traveled to Florida for our 6 months of summer? I think if you teach your son you cannot wear a tank top at all, what about college sports where they are required? What will dad say when this comes up? This may be an extreme example, but I think it comes up to the individual. And if tank tops are not part of a wardrobe for Utah, maybe they are for Florida's hot climate while jogging through our hot streets.
Bartow
King
Tallahassee, Florida
**
The boy pulling up his pants with one hand and a cartoon tie may only need to have someone, who actually cares about HIM and not the way he looks, explain it to him. And the girl that was demeaned for having garments showing may have never been properly taught, by someone who loved her, the proper way to wear them. Now her only experience is extremely negative. I sincerely hope she does not leave the Church, or in the very least lower her self-esteem to a more worthless state than it was before. This kind of thing hits close to home for me. For reasons of protecting those involved in my own experiences I will leave my stories out of this.
Please be kind to EVERYONE around you, even if they are doing something that you don't approve of. Be their friend, be the kind of person you should, they will more than likely want to be like you. Give them a loving hand up; not a hateful push out.
There are also many members who love those around them and are emulating what the Savior would have us be. But there are far too many of the other. It frightens me to think about it.
Joe
Kelepolo
Peoria, Arizona
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Fashions You See at Church Nay be Shocking -- Read Article Here
The Lundbergs wrote directly and plainly about a problem among the members of the Church. As I was recapping in my journal the lesson I taught in the Brussels Belgium stake Bible study class tonight, it occurred to me that there was one aspect of the matter that they did not treat.
Part of the lesson I taught tonight was on the salt of the earth, how it can lose its savor, and what its end is if it does lose its savor. We, the Latter-day Saints, are the Lord's salt in this day. We flavor the world with the savor of the spirit of the living God and His Son. A little bit of salt goes a long way. While salt can never directly lose its flavor, it can be adulterated with other strong flavors until the effect of the salt is lost.
The Lord's salt loses its savor as the covenant people adopt the strong spices of the world, one after a provocative, tantalizing other. "Here a little and there a little" (2 Nephi 28:30) works as effectively in the world's kitchen as in the Lord's. When the covenant people finally "taste" like the world, they can no longer salt their community with the Savior's unique and preserving savor.
Then, as Adam's posterity, the Northern Kingdom of Israel (the "10 Tribes") and the Jews in their turn, the Jaredites and then the Nephites demonstrated, the covenant people self-destruct and their shards are scattered over the earth and lost among the Gentile nations (1 Nephi 22:3).
What
the Lundbergs have described and all of us have
seen is nothing more than a couple of generations of Saints starting to
replace their sacred salt with tangy Tabasco. As the Scriptures point out
(e.g. 4 Nephi 1:24), this is the beginning of an old Israelite story repeated
time after time. They are "likening the Scriptures unto themselves"
(1 Nephi 19:23) by writing themselves into the history of the apostasy of Latter-day
Israel, in their own day and generation. If they allow the worldly spices
to overwhelm the Savior's savor in their hearts, they will finish their
personal versions of ancient
It is the same problem with the LDS men who dish up 2-dimensional pornographic sauces from the Internet. These things kill the spirit in the Saints and make us unfit to bear the holy vessels of the testimony of the living God to our world (3 Nephi 20:41). Isaiah smelled it a long time ago, "And it shall come to pass, that instead of sweet smell there shall be stink. (3:24)" And, from the Salt-of-the-earth Himself, "if the salt hath lost its savor... it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. (Matt. 5:13)." This is serious stuff.
Daniel
L. Vassilaros, PhD
Allentown, Pennsylvania
**
Many years ago, one of our sons was singing in a young men's chorus for General Conference Priesthood meeting. Since the mothers would not be there, we were invited to the last practice before the meeting. Our young sons were seated in the Tabernacle Choir seats, and it was thrilling to see their earnest expressions, as they harmonized "An Angel From on High" in truly angelic tones. The organ supported them beautifully, and it was a marvelous experience for the mothers to sit there hearing and seeing these teenage boys.
The only "sour" note was the lady who was leading the singing. She was small and petite, and had on a full skirted, red suit. The skirt was short, and so was she. So she stood on a box so that the boys could see and follow her directions.
I was sitting in the center section in the second row. As I looked up at the boys, the only thing I could see, much as I did not want to, was what that lady had on under her short skirt, and stiff petticoat. Her sheer panty hose, and garments that ended well above the knee were so visible, and for some reason, seemed to fill our line of sight to the exclusion of all else.
I was grateful the boys were all in front of her, for I'm sure she would have been very embarrassed for them to have the view many of their mothers had.
I was also relieved to realize she would not be conducting at the Priesthood meeting, where the Brethren would be sitting in our seats.
I have long since forgotten — if I ever knew — who this lady was. She was a tremendous conductor, and certainly brought out the best in those young men. But her choice of dress on that occasion was an embarrassment to me, and all of the mothers around me who spoke about it. And they did. Quite an object lesson.
Ruth
di Francesco
Grangeville, Idaho
**
We share your view and we found something that works very well, along with what you have presented. My feeling is that if we throw a challenge out "you will not wear this" that if a teen is oppositional/defiant, then they get triggered into a fight! It is said that it is unwise to make an unenforceable rule.
The only modesty I believe we can truly enforce, is in our presence. We explain to our state-placed foster daughters our modesty standards, and if others saw one of our household IN OUR PRESENCE wearing something immodest, they might assume that it was with our approval. So our rule is that in our home, on our property or in our families presence we require our modesty standards to be kept. If they want to come out of their rooms, or have a ride somewhere, they need to be modest.
It is on THEIR heads IF they should choose to then alter their modestly level after we leave. Our modesty test is like yours. This rule also helped so that my husbands and sons did not need to turn their heads or be concerned at what they might see in the hallway by the bathroom etc. If they should show up immodest out of their bedrooms, they were requested to return until they could come out in something modest. No anger, no threats, just "when you pass the modesty test, you may come out of your room". The long tee shirts helped also at the neck and waist of outfits. We didn't take on the too tight rule, as it is hard to measure with stretch fabrics, but this worked for us.
Jane Wadsworth
Sequiem, Washington
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I am so thankful for this article, as this subject has been weighing heavily on my mind for a long time. I have a pre-teen daughter who still listens to me but I can only pray what the future holds for her.
I have felt so frustrated many times during the week to see what other Latter-day Saints wear. I am frequently more frustrated on the Sabbath as I see the girls and their leaders wearing less-than-modest clothing. One of the things that you brought up was the tight-fitting clothing. It is difficult for me not to say something to a few of the women in the ward who wear their dresses so tight that every seam of their undergarments is visible. It is also unpleasant to see the maternity wear that appears to be painted on their skin and their navels are protruding.
One thing that concerns me is the lack of clothes used to exercise. I have often seen the YW President on her daily jog wearing nothing but the sport bra and shorts. I have been too embarrassed to say anything.
As a child growing up in the 60’s, I witnessed the trends that were a definitive attack on modesty. I am one of five daughters in a large family. I was not allowed to wear any revealing clothing — no sleeveless tops, no tight blouses/dresses, no skirts above the knee-cap, no tube tops or belly shirts, no blue jeans to school and absolutely no shorts. They were not even permitted into our home.
This was sometime unbearable to me and my sisters, especially when we were teenagers. Of course, this changed as time passed. My parents’ attitude seemed to relax somewhat and they stopped being so harsh with us. We actually got to wear what we wanted and wouldn’t you know — we still wore long pants, long skirts, one-piece swimwear, blouses that covered our midriffs, and other sensible clothes.
My point is this: Since we were accustomed to wearing “temple-ready-attire,” we did not have to make the drastic changes to prepare us to enter the temple and wear the temple clothing. I can’t tell my mother “Thank you!” enough for showing me how to be and helping me feel modest at all times.
K
Johnson
Salt Lake City
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Hurrah for your article! Modesty has always been an "issue" with me since joining the Church more than 25 years ago at the age of 17.
I have been disappointed in women wearing plunging backlines at church dances and today's youth choosing the short skirts and tops; logos, pictures, and sayings that promote "darkness;" and pants that are belted around the groin to reveal boxers (yes, the young men are guilty, too).
I have seen these in sacrament meetings. For the few years previous to my being baptized, tube tops, halter tops, Levis, and Root/Earth shoes were the style. I preferred to dictate my own style. The evening gown I wore in my run for Miss Teen Time was a halter, but it had a jacket that I kept on. I had learned to sew and was a fashion leader instead of a follower.
A couple months after I joined the Church I was at a friend's home preparing to attend the gold and green ball. (Her father was the stake president.) Even though my gown (I was wearing my grad dress that I had designed and worn before I was baptized) had more than 20 yards of fabric in it and long sleeves, it was still considered a bit immodest. It was a sheer fabric with little flocked flowers on it (this was the 70's after all). I designed the under dress to have wide shoulders instead of spaghetti straps so that I could still wear appropriate underclothes and not be yanking at slipping thin straps all night long. My friend's mother came into the room where we were putting on the last pat of lip gloss and told us we looked beautiful, but then she leaned in and advised me that perhaps, after tonight, I ought not to wear the dress again.
Yes, I was embarrassed. I thought the dress to be modest. Yes, I was confused when I saw other girls (members for their entire lives) wearing their Gunne Sax dresses to church with the sheer fabrics on the shoulders and sleeves. But I realized that I needed, and wanted, to take the higher road if I wanted to live up to my baptismal covenants.
In contrast, a year later, I was standing in the church foyer wearing a black tuxedo style dress I had designed. It was a wrap-around style in black satin. The shawl collar and sleeve cuffs were in black velvet. The skirt had a tulip bottom and came below my knees. I was totally covered. I overheard the RS President comment to another mother about my black dress. She referred to me as a four letter word and said that her son would not be taking me to the upcoming dance.
I was shocked and thought I had heard incorrectly but when her son phoned to uncomfortably break the date I was very hurt. Twenty years later, I designed her grand-daughter's graduation dress. She chose a black velvet made with a silver backing. This young lady even requested a higher neckline as she was very self conscious of her abundant bust line. I found out later, that her grandmother refused to let her wear the black dress and had her son's married girlfriend make a yellow one with spaghetti straps. The poor girl had a horrible time at her grad being constantly worried about her dress/neckline.
In all of my years of modeling and/or clothing design I have always encouraged tasteful clothes over immodest with my clients. I would not model intimate wear even though it paid more and not doing so may have cost me other jobs. In designing, I have made graduates, bridesmaids, and brides more aware of where men may be looking when they are being held close on the dance floor.
My personal style has not changed much, except to become more sophisticated and make allowances for my change of physical shape. I have gone from being called a four-letter word to being asked to speak to the youth on clothing and modesty (including modesty in behavior). Yet I have not changed. I do wish that people would see it is much better to be a leader than a follower. This comes with having a healthy self-esteem.
Alice
Slaughter
Las Vegas, Nevada
**
I am finding that the lack of modesty and/or inappropriate choices in dress is distracting to me.
Just two weeks ago, here in Las Vegas, I witnessed a sister come into the chapel with her husband and children. She sat down in front of a brother across the aisle from me, her clothes were too revealing, too short, too low, and too tight. Upon seeing this, the dear brother shut his eyes.
We should not have to be bothered with this kind of distraction during our meetings. Until I read this article, I was beginning to think it was me, that I was being too critical, or I had gotten too old or something. I have even contemplated becoming inactive over this. At home I can control what I see and hear by the TV shows that I choose to watch, or books that I read and even places that I go. Church should be a safe haven, not a burlesque show. I know that by today's standards our young women are still more modest than their non-member peers, but they need to adhere to the Church's standard, and not just slightly more modest than their non-member peers.
During the past 10 years the modesty of sisters has dropped like a rock over a cliff. However, I have noticed this in the mothers as well as their daughters. The modesty has to start with the mothers first.
One Sunday I was sitting behind a young sister, who had her baby in a carrier on the floor in front of her. The baby was fussy, and she bent over to care for it. As she did this, her blouse came out of her skirt and her garments parted. I know that I must have let out an audible gasp, and quickly looked away. I felt so embarrassed for her as well. I know that she didn't intend to be immodest.
This behavior doesn't just affect the young men either. I liked your advice to go in front of a mirror and stretch, bend, twist, etc. to see what shows.
Gail
Morrison
Las Vegas,
Nevada
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Music Man
Inspirational Music Show Builds Texas Missionary Efforts -- Read Article Here
I served my mission in the Texas
Dallas mission 84-86 and the Joseph Smith Oratorio was a treat we only got
to enjoy with investigators. Our youth were looking for something like this
for an activity in December.
Is there anyone I can contact that would have music and script or a video or audio tape of it?
Glen
Hanneman
King City, California
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The Challenge of Accepting Ourselves -- Read Article Here
As I read the last paragraph that contained a quote from a bishop about the gifts the Lord has given us being "enough," I had the following impression: Neglecting our own gifts and yearning after another's gifts is the height of ungratefulness. It is ungrateful to tell the Lord that what He gave me is not good enough to do the work He has set out for me. It is ungrateful to covet what He gave another while ignoring the many blessings and talents He gave me.
Thank you for the new insight. The next time I feel guilt for not being able to "do it all," I shall remember that what I can do is a gift from God and is good enough.
Bridget
Jones
Veyo, Utah
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No Offense
Correction and Correctives: Forgiving the Unforgivable -- Read Article Here
“In particular, one member is mentioned who had his blessings restored, yet cannot work with youth. That is wrong.”
I disagree with Brent on this point. Although I have never asked why this is the case, I believe it is Church policy to separate sexual offenders from callings with the youth. A logical reason for this is that, although a person may have reformed, he may still have a weakness. Who in their right mind would want to subject someone who is struggling with an enticement they fell for before?
Ken
Mathias
Irmo, South Carolina
**
Thank you for this article. As a parent of two children, one of whom (as a preteen and young teen) molested the other, I face the dual role of loving and protecting one child, while also loving and forgiving the other. It's a tough thing to do (but possible), even with the gospel as a foundation.
In response to the brother from Colorado who also responded to this article. He said, "While I fully agreed with much of this article, as well as the spirit (caution) it was written in, there is a clear bias that people cannot change which is inconsistent with the message of the gospel. In particular, one member is mentioned who had his blessings restored, yet cannot work with youth. That is wrong. If your sins were like scarlet, through the atonement they are made white. If there is any doubt whatsoever about repentance, then blessings would not/should not be restored."
I would just like to point out that there is a reason behind not having even repentant offenders work with youth (if that is related to their offenses). It's not about whether someone has repented or not. I totally believe scarlet sins can be made white. Sometimes it may be a stipulation of their parole (though I think parole would have to be finished before total repentance occurs). The other reason, I think, comes out of love for that person. Even having had a disposition to do evil, a repentant offender should still have the opportunity to serve in whatever capacity they can, but not be put into situations that could possibly tempt them again. Temptations are to be avoided. Just because we are totally repentant and forgiven, doesn't mean that we are forever immune to our previous weakness.
No name please,
San Jose, California
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I want to take a moment to thank everyone at Meridian!!! The stories and articles have helped through some really rough times these past few years. They are always timely and truly inspired. They have helped write talks, and simply helped me get through the day with hope instead of despair.
Happy Thanksgiving with much love and a grateful heart.
Andrea
Shoell
Orem, Utah
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Rise and Shout Politely
Last weekend we attended "Parents Weekend" with our daughter and her son, a Freshman at BYU. We attended the football game of BYU vs. Air Force Academy. We were shocked at the unsportsmanlike conduct of some of the BYU fans who were "booing" the referees and generally being obnoxious. Their "boos" were loud enough to be clearly heard by the nationwide TV audience of the game. Whereas the Air Force fans, though of course fewer, were well-mannered toward their team, the BYU team and the officials. What kind of "Christ like example" and "Missionary effort" were those BYU fans exhibiting?
Mary
Landen,
Bountiful, Utah
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Be Truant to your School
Parents Should Be Outraged -- Read Article Here
I believe we would have power to determine what the schools teach if we would all stick together and keep our kids home from school. Strike as you will. I think the schools would conform to our standards then. Most schools get their budget based on attendance.
Susan
McKinney
Morehead, Kentucky
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A Prequel — Just like Star Wars -- Read Article Here
I just had to say it. I love your columns. I love your parenthesis inside parentheses comments. There are some columns in Meridian Magazine that I read to be informed. There are others I read to savor, to immerse myself in the pure pleasure of the words, and to take delight in the way the wording enhances the message. Yours is the latter. Please don't ever stop writing.
Karen
Morgan
Newcastle, Indiana