Share the article on
this page with a friend. Click
here.
Leadership
for Saints,
Part 10:
Mired in the Thick of Thin Things by
Rodger Dean Duncan and Ed J. Pinegar
Just what does it mean
to be mired in the thick of thin things? It means that many of us
fall into the trap of placing a priority on so many items that most
items do not get the attention they need. It means that many of
us become disheartened by our apparent inability to excel to the
extent we would like. It means that many of us become mired in the
thick of thin things. We are subject to the frustration spawned
by values and priorities that seem to be in conflict. Quite simply,
we are out of balance.
You’ve likely heard
the old saying that “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
As with many clichés, this one is true. Yet effective planning
is much more than juggling schedules. The best planners and the
most effective servants are those who establish a clear mission
for themselves and operate from that mission every hour of every
day.
In this context, “mission”
does not mean a specific assignment, like going to Brazil for 24
months to teach the gospel. Mission is used here to connote the
sense of personal vision and the clarification of personal values
that enable us to perform more comfortably and more effectively
and with a greater sense of balance. Even our Father in Heaven has
articulated His mission: “For behold, this is my work and
my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life
of man.” (Moses 1:39)
It was Albert Einstein who reportedly said that the significant
problems we face cannot be solved with the same level of thinking
we were at when we created them. Most of our problems with conflicting
priorities are of our own making. With good intentions we innocently
accept layer upon layer of responsibility, then wake up one morning
befuddled and overwhelmed by it all.
The beginning of our
relief comes when we strategically plan our lives. At first blush,
this may sound too businesslike. Aren’t strategic plans what
business organizations use to guide their activities? Yes. And strategic
plans are what effective people use to guide their activities, too.
There are likely countless
ways that an individual can “build” a strategic plan
for his life. But we’re going to discuss only one way. Not
because it’s necessarily the very best way, but because it’s
simple, it’s values-based, it’s easily adaptable to
many situations, and it works.
Discovering Your Roles and Values
A root cause of the frustration
many people feel with their time management is a lack of clarity
on who they are and what they value. Now, you might argue: “Oh,
I know very well who I am. And I know what my values are.”
But do you really? When we pose this question to some people, they
respond with something fairly generic like “I’m Mike
Wilson and I stand for integrity” or “I’m Louise
Gardner and I value fairness and reliability.” It’s
hard to find fault with that, but such generalizations provide only
limited assistance in reaching the hundreds, maybe even thousands,
of decisions we’re required to make.
Here’s a simple
process we’ve found to be helpful in clarifying your roles
and values.
First, take a sheet of
paper and begin to write down your roles. If you’re an adult
male, your list of roles might go something like this: Husband.
Father. Son. Brother. Accountant. Neighbor. Young Men President.
Home Teacher. With only a little bit of work, you can likely make
a list of twenty or more roles.
Now, take any one of
those roles and break it down into sub-roles. With more careful
thought, for example, you’ll realize that the role of Father
has a number of sub-roles such as Coach, Teacher, Friend, Referee,
Chauffeur, Banker, Nurturer, Cheerleader and so on. As you list
these roles and sub-roles you’ll notice that you’re
actually addressing the subject of values. For instance, if you
were to list something like Nurturer as a sub-role under your role
of Parent, that says something about the way you view—the
way you value—the role of Parent. It also says something about
the way you really desire to invest your time.
Keep at it. Write down
as many roles as you can think of, then under each one list the
sub-roles pertaining to that role. You’ll find that many of
these sub-roles tend to overlap. For example, the sub-role of Friend
is appropriate for the roles of Parent, Neighbor, Teacher, etc.
The next step might be
to take each sub-role and list the character traits that you feel
appropriately support the sub-role. Under the sub-role of Friend,
you might list such characteristics as loyalty, reliability, patience
and so forth.
Clarifying Your Roles
Through all of this,
you are clarifying your values. You are not creating your values,
you are discovering and possibly rediscovering them.
Why is such a process
important to us? Because truly effective people base their decisions
and responses on their values. They are value-based and principle-centered.
Clarifying the values and principles we embrace enables us to live
our lives more effectively. Without this clarification we run the
risk of making decisions and responding to situations and circumstances
which are not consistent with our values and principles. We go through
life in the reactive mode.
The process of brainstorming
on your personal roles and sub-roles is a first step to writing
your personal Mission Statement or Constitution. Again, you might
say that you don’t need a written document to guide you because
you already know what you want to accomplish in life. But we have
worked with hundreds of people who thought the same thing. Then,
after patiently and diligently working through the process of clarifying
their roles and values and writing a personal Mission Statement
or Constitution, they discovered the wonderful comfort of bringing
their lives into better focus and balance.
We recommend that upon
beginning such an exercise you write two words at the top of the
page: “First Draft.” Drafting a personal Constitution
is not a quick-fix kind of thing. It requires careful and prayerful
thought and consideration. It is a winnowing process. It involves
a sifting of the various things that can consume—or bless—our
lives. In fact, the sifting or screening metaphor is especially
appropriate.
Picture your life as
an opportunity to respond to—by embracing or rejecting in
various degrees—a wide range of activities or principles.
In its finished form, your personal Constitution or Mission Statement
serves as a screening device. By carefully setting up that screening
device, you’re better prepared to make the countless decisions
we all make each day. Without such a screening device, we run the
risk of deciding by default or deciding in a way that is in conflict
with our mission and values.
It really doesn’t
matter whether you call this guiding document a Mission Statement,
a Personal Constitution, a Declaration of Purpose, a Written Creed
or anything else. The point is that you will benefit from drafting
and referring to the document. The power of such a process and the
resulting document is that it helps you clarify who you are and
what is genuinely important to you. Then, when you get caught up
in the routine of daily living and find yourself slipping away from
the balance you desire, you can always refer to your document of
guiding principles. You will become more a product of your deliberate
values-based decisions than of external conditions. You will escape
the danger of merely reacting to situations. You begin to manage
your life instead of letting it manage you.
Quotes to Remember
The things which
matter most must not be at the mercy of the things that matter least.
– Goethe
To be sure your
life will be full and abundant, you must plan your life. –
Spencer W. Kimball
Without a goal
there can be no real success. Indeed, a good definition of success
is: 'The progressive realization of a worthy ideal.' –
Thomas S. Monson
May we ponder
carefully, deeply, and prayerfully our roles in life, where we can
give the greatest service, to whom we can make the greatest contribution,
what we should do with our lives and with our special skills and
training. Our success will be measured by what we can give of our
lives and our contribution to others rather than what we can get
and receive from others. – Spencer W. Kimball
When we find
our values in life, things that are most worthwhile, things of greatest
worth to us, then we begin to feel our individuality, our creativity,
our freedom, our strength. We begin to get possession of life when
we concentrate not on the whole of reality in which we feel insignificant,
but when we select certain things we are determined to live for;
it seems to me that's when we get hold of life again. – Lowell
L. Bennion
When we set
(and write down!) specific goals based on clearly defined values,
we have more control over our lives. We reward ourselves with a
sense of direction and a feeling of accomplishment. We fill our
lives with the power of purpose… When we set goals based upon
a recognition of our eternal worth, our goals more fully reflect
God's goals for us—or our unique potential. The mission statements
we write will become personal manifestos, written from the perspective
of children of God. Goal-oriented improvement programs will become
most effective not just because we have guideposts of improvement
but more importantly because those guideposts are in harmony with
God's plan for our eternal progress. – Lloyd D. Newell
Note:
The excerpts of Leadership for Saints posted on Meridian
are only a fraction of the contents of this 349-page book. To learn
more about this ground-breaking book and to order copies, click
here.
Contents
Section 1: Understanding the Role of Leadership
Chapter 1
- What Great Leadership Is
Chapter 2 - What Great Leaders Are
Chapter 3 - What Great Leaders See
Chapter 4 - What Great Leaders Do
Section 2: Getting
the Results You and the Lord Want
Chapter 5
- Planning the Work, Working the Plan
Chapter 6 - Councils: Strength in Unity
Chapter 7 - Creating a Climate of Hope and Energy
Section 3: Skills
That Help You Sleep at Night
Chapter 8
- Communication: Building Bridges to Their Hearts
Chapter 9 - Stewardship Delegation: The Great Multiplier
Chapter 10 - The Power of Influence
Chapter 11 - Gatherings of Saints: Think Purpose, Not Meeting
Section 4: Special
Challenges and Opportunities
Chapter 12
- Discernment: The Gift of Great Price
Chapter 13 - Personal Balance: Your "Being" vs. Your
"Doing"
Chapter 14 - Common Questions, Humble Responses
About
the Authors:
Rodger Dean
Duncan, a descendant of 19th century Protestant evangelists, was
baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints at
the age of 18. Early in his career he was an award-winning journalist,
editor and syndicated columnist. He has been a consultant to cabinet
officers under two U.S. presidents, members of the U.S. Senate,
and senior officers of major corporations. He earned a Ph.D. at
Purdue University, and is founder and president of The Duncan Company,
a consulting firm focused on leadership development and organizational
effectiveness.
Brother Duncan
has served on several stake high councils, twice as bishop, as stake
president, and as stake mission president. Under President Spencer
W. Kimball he served on the Advisory Council that first recommended
the subtitle to the Book of Mormon, "Another Testament of Jesus
Christ."
Brother Duncan
is married to Rean Robbins-Duncan, a fifth-generation Latter-day
Saint. They have four children and two grandchildren. The Duncans
live in Missouri, only a short walk from Historic Liberty Jail.
Ed
J. Pinegar, a dentist by training and vocation, graduated from Brigham
Young University and attended dental school at the University of
Southern California. While practicing dentistry, he taught seminary
for several years, then taught the Book of Mormon and Gospel Principles
and Practices courses at BYU for 18 years.
Brother
Pinegar's Church assignments include stake high councilor, bishop
(twice), stake president, member of the General Board for Young
Men, and member of the Missionary Programs Advisory Committee. He
also presided over the England London Mission and the Missionary
Training Center in Provo, Utah. He is author of several books for
the LDS market.
Brother
Pinegar is married to Patricia Peterson Pinegar, former General
President of the Primary for the Church. They are parents of eight
children and have 32 grandchildren. The Pinegars live in Orem, Utah.
