A Day to Yourself with Mom – What Would You Do?
By Sean E. Brotherson
Introduction
I
was driving to work a couple of weeks ago and happened to click
on a local radio station. One of the station talk show hosts
was talking about the “Question of the Day.” Apparently, listeners
were supposed to call in with their thoughts and responses. I
listened with some interest and then heard the question:
“If
you could spend an entire day alone together with your mother,
what would you do?”
What
a great question.
The
questioner didn’t add in any conditions, such as having unlimited
money or being in full health or living close to each other –
just the question.
I
like good questions.
Then
the host shared her own thoughts on this and said that it was
drawn from a question-and-answer game she had played with her
adult siblings. This was the question she had been asked to answer,
and she had found herself unable to answer the question without
emotion because it made her think so much. In a family of five
children, she could not think back and remember a day that she’d
ever had alone to herself with just she and her mother. That
made her sad and it also made her think really hard about that
question.
A Day to Yourself with Mom
First
of all, I think the concept itself is just such a great one.
So simple. What would it mean to be able to have a day to yourself
with your mother? Think about it. The answers will vary for
each person. But to me, the idea is to think about what you would
do if you could have a day to yourself with your mother and you
tried to make it a positive, meaningful and memorable day together.
As
listeners called into the radio show, they also shared their thoughts
and experiences with much emotion and tenderness. It was surprising
to hear so much attentiveness to things of the heart and what
truly matters on an early-morning drive-time radio show. But
it demonstrated that the question had struck a nerve with listeners
in a major way.
Many
who called in to the show commented that they would simply spend
the day telling and sharing stories. Many wanted to sit on the
couch and have their mother reminisce about her life and experiences.
Others wanted to go out to lunch, shop together, look at memory
books, or do other meaningful things.
Again,
the question made me think. What would I do if I had a day to
myself with my mother?
Luckily,
my mother came to town only a few days later and so we had a chance
to explore this question.
Reminiscing and Brainstorming a Day with Mom
When
my mother came to town, we sat down and I asked her this same
question one evening. I asked her what she would do if she had
a single day to spend by herself with just her mother. Her answer
was tender and fascinating.
She
commented that she would make sure to just spend some time and
have her mother reminisce and share stories of her own experiences
growing up.
She
noted that she would spend time at the piano with her mother and
visiting about her experiences with music, as her mother spent
a lifetime in conducting choral groups and teaching music.
She
shared that they would spend time walking in the pine forests
in the White Mountains of Arizona, where both she and her mother
had grown up and spend time and loved their early years.
I
am still trying to figure out, of all the possible choices, what
exactly I would choose to do with my mother if we had a day to
spend together. Making my mom’s wonderful cherry pie recipe together
comes to mind. Nobody makes a cherry pie like Mom.
Since
I have access to the wisdom, insight, and imagination of the Meridian
readership, I’m going to ask you to help me develop and share
some ideas in this area. The challenge is below.
Three Ideas on Spending a Day Together with Mom
I
would like Meridian readers to share ideas and experiences on
spending a day together, just you and your mother, and what you
have done or might do in three ways. Then I’ll share in future
columns.
Top 100 Ideas for Spending a Day Together with Mom
First
of all, I like “cheat sheets” like “Ten Great Dates in Your Area,”
so I don’t have to be caught with no good ideas when the weekly
date with my wife opportunity comes along. So, let’s create a
list we’ll call the “Top 100 Ideas for Spending a Day Together
with Mom.”
Don’t
feel compelled to send 100 ideas yourself, though you certainly
can if you’d like. But if a lot of you share a few great and
creative ideas, then I think we could come up with 100 ideas.
Kids would come up with great ideas here, too. This is a good
Family Home Evening Activity. So, you send me the ideas and I’ll
compile them, then share them with all of you.
Spending a Day with Mom – Your Experience
My
guess is that dozens and even hundreds of you have already seen
the wisdom and fun of doing something like spending a day by yourself
with Mom, and so you probably already have experiences and ideas
to share. You have done this. You have stories to tell and experiences
to pass along. We bless each other as we share what works in
a meaningful way in our lives and relationships.
So,
if you have the time, drop me a note at brotherson@meridianmagazine.com
and share your experience in spending a day together with mom.
It’s a way to celebrate mothers and time with them. I will also
compile these experiences and put them in a future column. Try
to respond in the next ten days so we can share these during the
holiday season.
The Holiday Gift – A Day with Mom
The
final idea is to suggest that perhaps one of the most meaningful
gifts you can give this coming holiday season is this—a day alone
to yourself with your mother.
Impossible,
you might say. I have too much to do. I have too many kids to
chase after. I have too many gifts to buy.
Keeping
it all in perspective means that sometimes we put everything down,
look into the eyes of the ones we love, and say, “Let’s spend
some time together today – what do you want to do?”
So,
I propose that you give the gift this season, to yourself and
your mother, of a day alone together where you plan and do something
that you will enjoy and remember. It can happen during the Christmas
season. It can happen as a gift that you promise at Christmas
for the coming year (try this once a month and see what happens).
But try it. Enjoy it.
And,
if you happen to do this during the coming weeks, feel free to
write and share your holiday gift experience with the rest of
us. I promise to pass it along.
A Final Thought
You
never know what might happen when you and your mother decide to
spend a day together. A few years ago we asked my mother how
she’d like to spend her birthday. The first item on the agenda
for that day was an early-morning ride in a hot air balloon, and
the agenda only got more exciting from there. So, it can get
exciting.
Many
of us may not have a mother to share such a day with at this point
in our lives. Possibly, our mothers have passed on and we can
only reflect on what we might do. Perhaps difficult relationships
or other circumstances make this an idea that you cannot pursue.
Yet, you might have many ideas to share with the rest of us.
And you may be able to find a mother, not your own, who would
benefit from and love the enjoyment of a day together with someone
who loves them.
Spend
a day together with mom, if you can, and share your ideas. If
God’s main activity is blessing us, perhaps to spend a day blessing
each other is not too much to ask.
(You
can share any comments or feedback with Sean Brotherson at brotherson@meridianmagazine.com
- look forward to hearing from you!)