The Three "Gs" of Stewardship
By Richard Eyre

Editor's note: Last Winter, during the "first half" of this column, Richard Eyre outlined and defined “The Three Deceivers” of Control, Ownership, and Independence, and detailed how our obsessions with them can ruin the quality of our lives. If you missed any of the earlier columns in this series, you can go to the Deceivers Archive (see right sidebar) to catch up. Then, in the second phase of the column, he replaced the deceivers with "The Three Alternatives" of SERENDIPITY, STEWARDSHIP, and "SYNERGICITY." (See the Alternatives Archive for these columns). Because of the unexpectedly high level of interest in the Alternatives, Richard was able to get a discounted quantity of his book Stewardship of the Heart (pictured in this column three weeks ago) for Meridian readers. The book begins with a short novel about a variety of people discovering the need to replace their Ownership Attitudes with Stewardship Attitudes. If you would be interested in receiving the book, write to Richard@meridianmagazine.com . You will receive a return e mail outlining how to order a half-price, signed and personalized copy.

Most of the letters I received last week from readers wanted to know more of just how one can make the transformation from the mentality of Ownership to the mentality of Stewardship. Several of you said things like "Can you simplify it a little? Give us a recipie for a Stewardship attitude — something we can remember and implement."

Let me offer, today, three things that I think are prerequisites and preliminaries and precursors to the mind-set of Stewardship. Fortuitously, each of the three begins with the letter G. We can remember these three G's, we can work on them, we can grow in our ability to feel them.

And, to carry on the G-theme, all of them are gifts — but they are gifts that can be developed and acquired. And everyone I know who has achieved them has also achieved a Stewardship attitude!

The three G's are Gratitude, Generosity, and Guidance, and they really are the building blocks of Stewardship. When you work on the three of them, you are working on a Stewardship paradigm. And it works both ways: When you see yourself more as a steward, you find yourself increasing in Gratitude, in Generosity, and in the Guidance you can receive.

Gratitude

I remember praying with my two-year-old one night long ago. She finished her sweet and spontaneous prayer and then she looked up at me and said, “I have two daddies,” pointing at me with one hand and straight up with the other.

Gratitude requires

1. Things to be thankful for and
2. One to be thankful to.

Knowing that God is our Father, that He has given us all we have and wants to vie us all that He has, brings a joy unspeakable. It also brings not only a willingness to live the law of consecration, but a deep, joyful desire to live it.

Gratitude is an indispensable part of happiness. It is also an indispensable part of stewardship. Acknowledging God in all things and in being grateful to him in all things is the first of the three G's of stewardship.

My Swedish maternal grandmother could not say a prayer without crying. Her gratitude welled up so deeply that sobs and heartfelt weeping were as much a part of her prayer as were words. She thanked God for everything because she acknowledged Him in everything. She glorified and praised Him because she couldn’t think of anything good without thinking of Him.


The longer I have lived, the more I have come to appreciate the gift my grandmother had. It is an art to be able to feel as deeply as she did.

Perhaps it was the hardship and struggle she had endured during her life that made her so aware of and so grateful for every small blessing.

But perhaps it was also because she acknowledged God as the giver of all — and because she fasted and prayed often and was acutely aware of God’s goodness and God’s gifts.

A Spiritual Muscle

Part of stewardship is use and the joy and growth of doing things with what we’ve been given. Most stewardships are more like a muscle than they are like a depletable resource: The more we use them the stronger they will grow, the longer they will last.

Some have suggested that most stewardships fall into three categories, each starting with a T — time, talents, and things. Each of these categories needs to be used well, developed wisely, and enjoyed. It has been said that “there is no greater form of thanks to a giver than to find joy in what is given.” Surely this applies to all God-given stewardships.

Stewardship itself, this beautiful and peaceful attitude I call stewardship of the heart, is not something that is earned or obtained by something that is received as a gift from God. Thus, part of true stewardship is gratitude.

We can prepare and position ourselves to be more worthy and more receptive to the gift, but it is still a gift.

“My peace I give unto you,” said the Lord, “Peace be unto you” was His most common greeting. True peace comes with stewardships where we cast our burdens upon Him (Psalms 55:22), thus making the “yoke easy” and the “burden light” (Matt. 11:30).

The feeling of peace and guidance that God gives to those who acknowledge Him and accept their own stewardships is the very gift that all the world wants.

Generosity

As with many things, the middle step (the second G) is, for many, the hardest. We can all improve on gratitude, but for those with awareness and faith it is natural to be thankful. Likewise, we all need greater abilities and capacities for Guidance (the third G, which we will get to in a minute); but again, for all who believe in an all-knowing, all-powerful Creator, what could be more natural than to seek His help?

The middle G, generosity, is perhaps somewhat less natural. Indeed, until we have achieved an attitude of stewardship, many would contend that our inclinations run opposite. Self-preservation, self-interest, even self-indulgence seem instinctive. Generosity usually does not. It is in this sense that “the natural man is an enemy to go.”

Yet it is clear, even obvious, that a steward must purge selfishness and develop generosity. It is clear that the Master desires stewards to use what they are given to serve, to give, to build, and to benefit others. Jesus said it in many ways, including “He that is greatest among you shall be your servant.” (Matt. 23:11)

The “middle G” of generosity is the outgrowth of the other two. The more grateful we are, the more we want to repay, and the more we realize that we can give to Him only by giving to others of His children. And the guidance we receive, if it is from the right source, will point us toward generosity and service. Elder (then Bishop) Henry B. Eyring made these connections beautifully in a conference address centering on King Benjamin’s admonition to remember our nothingness and our gratitude to God for all. Bishop Eyring said, “Remembrance is the seal of gratitude which is the seal of generosity.”

In Central Europe, a small village was badly bombed in World War II. One of the casualties was the statue of Christ in the town square that was knocked down by the blasts and broken into pieces. Townspeople painstakingly re-assembled the pieces and were able to restore the statue except for the hands, which were too broken to be fixed. Rather than sculpt new hands, the decision was to add an inscription reading, “His only hands on earth are yours.”

Is any principle more certain or more repeated that the simple truth that we serve Him by serving others? Is it any mystery that His gifts, our stewardships, all of them, have the common purpose of bringing joy and salvation to His children? Is it any wonder that all Satan’s efforts work counter to this, pulling toward selfishness, indulgence, and ownership?

How do we become more generous? How do we overcome the natural man and become spiritual stewards?

Again, the quality may be beyond our individual grasp. Generosity may be a gift and the best pursuit may be to ask for it.

But there some things we can do that may position us better to receive and add power to our asking. One of these things is to Simplify.

Simplifying Our Lives

“Our life is frittered away by detail,” said Thoreau. “Simplify, simplify, simplify.”

Edward Abbey said he loved the desert because there was less there, so he could appreciate each tiny thing more.

The scripture tells us to seek not to be cumbered. Does it mean not to seek so many things or does it mean to seek to get rid of unnecessary things? Perhaps both. Gandhi, as mentioned earlier, decided he needed nothing material.

We came home from a weekend trip not long ago and found that our home had been broken into. Drawers were pulled out. Everything was exposed. But nothing was missing. Linda remarked, “We must have done a better job of simplifying than I thought. Whoever broke in couldn’t find a single thing worth stealing.”

There were things in our home worth stealing, of course, and I found myself with a new sense of appreciation for them as I took inventory after the break-in. all the things we cared about were there, were safe. Apparently the intruder was looking only for money, on thing there is very little of around our home.

The anxiety I felt that day as I checked to see what was missing, made me worry about simplifying and about stewardship. I was worried so much about having things as about valuing things, about caring too much for them and thinking of them as mine.

Do we need to get rid of everything like Gandhi, or move to the desert like Abbey, or sell all we have and give to the poor like the young rich ruler Christ addressed? Is simplifying and giving up everything the kind of generosity that will get us to the stewardship attitude?

I think not. In fact, giving up everything would be, for most of us, a kind of anti-stewardship. We would be saying, “I don’t want responsibility for anything.” A true steward would say instead, “I want all that I can care for and use well for God’s purpose and glory.”

There is an interesting difference between having and needing. If we think we need all the things we have, then it is hard to consecrate them, hard to give them up, hard to use them for the benefit of others. On the other hand, if we realize how little we really need, how simple our basic requirements really are, then it allows us to be more generous, to see what we have as stewardships and to care for and develop the things we have been given without selfishly hoarding or hiding them.

We’ve tried to give our children experiences that would increase their gratitude and their generosity — and that would help them see how little they really need. We spent one summer in Oregon, living a completely primitive life and building a log cabin from scratch. We all learned that we didn’t need closets full of clothes, or cars, or television, or even plumbing or electricity. We did need good, some basic shelter, and we needed each other.

Another summer we lived in a tiny mountain town in Central Mexico among amazingly poor but remarkably happy peasants. Everything all of us learned was capsulated by our eight-year-old daughter when she was asked what the experience taught her. She answered, “That you don’t need shoes to be happy.”

The kind of simplifying required to gain greater generosity and a deeper attitude of stewardship is the kind in which we give things up mentally. As stewards, we should accept the generosity of God and enjoy the stewardships He gives, anxious to use them and give them as He calls us or as opportunities come. We should stop short of the aggressive pursuit of things far beyond our needs and should ask Him to give us only what we can care for well and use for His purposes. We should strive to be conscious of how limited our real needs are, and thus make it easier for ourselves to give when we see needs and to serve when we have the chance.

Guidance

President John Taylor explained:

We believe that it is necessary for man to be placed in communication with God; that he should have revelation from him, and that unless he is placed under the influences of the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, he can know nothing about the things of God.

I don't care how learned a man may be, or how extensively he may have traveled. I do not care what his talent, intellect, or genius may be, at what college he may have studied, how comprehensive his views or what his judgment may be one other matter. He cannot understand certain things without the Spirit of God, and that necessarily introduces the principle I before referred to — the necessity of revelation. Not revelation in former times, but present and immediate revelation, which shall lead and guide those who possess it.” (1989 Priesthood Manual)

Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Many high achievers say, in essence, “The unplanned life — the life without clear goals and objectives — is not worth living.”

Do we want to live our lives with an analytical mentality, with a goals-and-plans mentality? Certainly these are important, but there is a higher realm, a higher mentality that acknowledges the incompleteness of our finest analysis and the short-sightedness of our best goals.

To one who strives to be a steward, the world’s measurements or phrases are not adequate. “A successful life.” “A full life.” “A life of broad experiences.” “A life of service.” Successful by whose standard? Full of what? Experience in what areas? Service to whom?

To those who believe in foreordination, and in the individuality and uniqueness of each of God’s children, and in the crucial and pivotal nature of each of God’s children, and in the crucial and pivotal nature of mortality in our Father’s eternal plan — to us who believe in these, the goal must be a guided life. We must seek a life governed by an orientation that gets us not necessarily to where we want to be or to what the world calls success, but that gets us to what He has foreordained us to be and to do.

It does us little good to scale the heights if we are climbing the wrong mountain or if we have leaned our ladder against the wrong wall.

Reason tells us that a good steward is one who has his own thought and takes his own initiative, but who knows his master’s heart and communicates sufficiently with Him to be sure he is going His way and doing His will. This mind-sit is best called a guidance mentality. The kind of living is best called a guided life.

It requires faith, strong mental effort, and consistent prayer, because answers and guidance do to come automatically or easily, nor do they come in long-term blueprints for whole sections of our lives. We walk by faith, receiving confirmation from our Master’s messenger (the Spirit) on one step at a time. A poet who understood this who penned the words:

I said to a man who stood at the gate of years
Give me a light that I might step forth.
And the voice came back,
Step out into the darkness and put your hand in mine,
For that is better than a light,
And surer than a known way.

An easy way to understand guidance mentality is to recall your biggest or most overwhelming challenge, or perhaps a calling for which you felt unprepared or inadequate. Most Church members can remember such a time, and how the weight of the calling or challenge drove them to their knees in humble prayer. Abraham Lincoln said, “There are times when I am driven to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I have nowhere else to go!”

The humility and consciousness-of-inadequacy caused by some callings and challenges creates a guidance mentality. We pray and fast and ponder, and we emerge with a strength and a direction that is not our own.

To strive to live all of our lives with the same degree of humility and the same God-given strength and direction is to adopt a guidance mentality.

In situations where we are overwhelmed, the world’s formula of self-confidence and positive mental attitude are almost amusingly inadequate. Our strength does not come form looking into the mirror and saying, “Every day in every way I’m getting better and better” or by telling ourselves, “I can do anything.”

Indeed, the strength comes from an opposite approach — from saying “of myself I cannot do this, I don’t know what to do.” It is our humility, our nothingness, coupled with our faith in His power that brings the infusion of strength and insight that allows us to do His will and meet the challenge He has given.

Faith does not require self-doubt, weakness, or insecurity. On the contrary. We take upon us His name; we hold His power; we walk with His joy and His love. But the point is, they are all His, not ours, and in remembering that, we will have the necessary humility to live guided lives.

The Lord’s spirit is not one of fear, but “of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). When we go forth with faith, with a guidance mentality, and with a stewardship attitude, we will find our foreordinations, we will feel His power, and we willk now the meaning (and the joy) of phrases like “Cast your burdens on me” and “My peace I leave with you.”

Taking Note of Guidance

Years ago, when I was a young missionary in New York, my companion and I had the opportunity one evening to be joined by a visiting General Authority for our bedtime prayer.

I offered the prayer and was somewhat disturbed to hear the unmistakable sound of pencil writing on paper. I went on with the prayer, thinking that my young and inexperienced companion had become impatient and was starting his nightly letter to his girlfriend. When I finished and looked up, I saw that it was the General Authority who held the pencil. In keeping with my own immaturity, by first thought was that he was doing some sort of evaluation on my prayer. I imagined perhaps a B for content, a C for grammar, etc.

He noticed my consternation but said noting until a few minutes later as he left our apartment. “Elders,” he said, “I sometimes worry that I will forget the answers that come in prayer if I don’t take some notes.”

I remember lying awake most of that night, trying to realize that prayer was communication, that we had to listen as well as ask, that the guidance received should be remembered, and implemented.

“Ask,” is the most frequent admonition in scripture. Only when we ask can God guide us without infringing on our agency. And sometimes “ask” is more than an admonition. It is a commandment (as in D&C 46:7).

Confirmation may be a burning, or it may be a soft, pure sureness. A confirmation feels right and a stupor of thought feels wrong (somewhat like folding your hands with one thumb on top feels natural and folding them with the other thumb on top feels foreign or strange).

“Ask and listen” is a wonderful motto for communication with men as well as with God. When we ask and listen we learn, we show esteem, we grow and we share.

As with anything containing great power, caution must be applied to asking. Beware of what you want, for you will get it. G.K Chesterton said, “Do not ask for pleasure, or you will rob yourself of the chief pleasure, which is surprise.”

President N. Eldon Tanner established a personal pattern while yet a young man in which he prayed for guidance each morning and then and then gave an accounting to the Lord each evening as he knelt in prayer before retiring — an accounting of how he had tried to follow the guidance during the day.

The point is that guidance must never be taken lightly. When we ask for it, when we receive it, we must be willing to remember it, to follow it, to do it!

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