M E R I D I A N M A G A Z I N E
Make an Un-Smart New Year's
Resolution
By Jonathan H. Westover
As the New Year begins, many of us find ourselves contemplating possible New Year's resolutions — lose some weight, exercise more, read X-number of books, start a new hobby, and so on. In creating a list of New Year's resolutions, we may find ourselves seeking to craft SMART goals — goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Tangible.
We have probably all heard about the importance
of setting smart goals to ensure a better likelihood of actually accomplishing
those goals we set for ourselves, but is there ever a time when sticking to
your goals isn't so smart?
In exploring this question, perhaps we should start by asking another question:
Have you ever known people who were so obsessed with personal achievement
and accomplishment that they were blinded to the needs of others around them?
These people may be so focused on setting and working to achieve their goals
that they walk around with blinders on, frequently referring to their day
planner or chore list, completely focused on accomplishing the task at hand,
and nothing else.
How do you feel when you are around such a person? Do you feel important?
Do you feel valued? If we stop and really think about it, the answer is probably
no, or at least not as much as we may like.
But we as human beings aren’t only the recipients of thoughtless behavior
by others. Have you ever found yourself so focused and driven to accomplish
a particular task or goal that you failed to pay enough attention to those
around you? Have you ever been called on it by a friend or loved one? If so,
how did you feel? Did you feel that you truly achieved success through the
accomplishment of your task or goal?
If we stop and really examine our own hearts, I think we would find that accomplishments
achieved independently, and sometimes in spite of others, tend to be less
intrinsically rewarding and more hollow and shallow.
Certainly, goal setting and a personal drive for self-improvement and achievement
are important personal attributes to have. However, we do not live in a world
of extremes. Just because we are goal- and achievement-oriented does not mean
that we cannot also be attuned to the needs of those around us.
If you, like me, get so focused on meeting your objectives that you tend to
block out the human beings around you, then perhaps a new approach to goal-setting
may be in order. Rather than setting goals that tend to be more "me-oriented,"
it may be time to set goals that are centered on others.
That is why I propose that this year we adopt goals that are not so SMART
In this New Year, my main goal is to not be so focused on personal achievement
and success, but rather be focused on the success of others. This means that,
while I still must strive for success in my personal work and family pursuits,
I will place more emphasis on looking for opportunities to help and be more
keenly attuned to others' needs, wants, desires, and aspirations. I will work
to help them accomplish their goals and dreams.
You may easily note that this goal is not specific, measurable, or tangible,
in the conventional sense, though I do believe that it is attainable and realistic.
Furthermore, such a goal can be measured, though not empirically. It can be
measured by the smiles we get from those we help and the warmth in our heart
that accompanies other-centered service.
Ironically, I believe that the best and surest way for each of us to accomplish
great things in this life is not by focusing on what we need to do to better
ourselves and our own situation. Rather it is by focusing on what others need
us to do to better them. When we focus on helping others, things
in our own lives have a tendency of falling into place, often better than
we could have ever planned on our own.
Though goals and resolutions certainly have their place, perhaps it is time
to focus less on ourselves and more on those around us. It is time to set
New Year's resolutions that aren't so smart!
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© 2007 Meridian Magazine. All Rights Reserved.