The Ultimate iPod
By Greg Hansen 

Editor’s note:  This article is dedicated to the author’s son, Jade Hansen.

Here is The Definitive Explanation of why you should consider getting an iPod, or other mp3 player. I call this line of reasoning the Big Picture. 

(Note to Old People:  An iPod is that device that is attached to the ears of most teenagers these days-usually it’s plugged in when they’re not on their cellphones. They can listen to music, and watch movies on the latest ones, and download all of that stuff from their computers.)

The following is a Mostly Authoritative Gospel Explanation why you should get one too, especially if you fit the category of an Old Person, which nowadays is anyone over 40. If you are, don’t worry. Old People get Righteous Stuff for their iPods — like the Book of Mormon mp3’s, music, movies, and the latest news podcasts.

The Reality 

Slogging through the jungle perimeter of the Parana River, ankle-high rubber boots filled with leech-infested water, and a downpour soaking our overcoats and straw hats, I had but one thought: there had to be a better way to track down obscure missionary referrals than this. 

It was 1978 in Paraguay. My missionary coping mechanism was so highly developed that I would ponder deep and eternal things while under the most adverse conditions. 

We had gotten a name and general location out in the jungle of a family that was interested in the gospel, but directions in a place where only trails and trees existed were dubious at best. We had boarded a broken down bus; we were tossed around in it going over a single lane mud road for hours, standing bent over most of the way; riding with the goats and chickens and good peasant folk packed like sardines in a rusty can, until finally reaching the general destination area. 

After disembarking, we asked the few people present if they knew the family, got some pointers and soon found ourselves in the inconvenient situation above. We were fortunate enough to find the family, give a well received discussion, and have a bit of dinner with them. Later we would find ourselves escorted by rifle-packing soldiers and thrown in jail, as suspected drug traffickers.

After spending the night in jail, and giving a fine first discussion to the jailer, we were released when they located the men they were really looking for. All this time my mind was working on other things.

The Unrealized Ideal 

I pondered how God was going to have the gospel preached to every nation, kindred, tongue and people, in their own language. I surmised that something would have to be invented akin to the “Star Trek” TV show communicators. Almost thirty years later, the beginnings of that have appeared. It was simply not possible to reach so many people in such remote areas with mere manpower then, or even now. Media had to be the answer. 

The White Stone 

From Who Am I, a book by Elder Alvin R. Dyer, come these observations: 

The Ultimate iPod

So here I am thirty years later, after composing countless film scores, CDs and music of all kinds, trying to further the music used in media to bring the gospel to the world, and inspire those who've already found it. 

I have my iPod and I know how to use it. But I want the kind that is the universal translator, the crystal ball that sees past, present, and future; the ultimate communicator with all life and matter, the revealer of all truth and knowledge.

And the best part is that my White Stone Ultimate iPod will have my name on it — no one else can use it, and no one else will know my secret password. It will be custom made to fit me personally — how I think, my own personality, my dreams and desires — much more than just my music. 

So, if I eventually want to have the Ultimate iPod, I better learn to use one right now while it’s still relatively easy. Maybe those teenagers aren’t so weird after all. They’re not the ones being dragged kicking and screaming into the future. A good Urim and Thummin could come in handy.

Greg Hansen is a record producer, writer, and horseman. To find out more about him, visit his website: www.greg-hansen.com