Cooking con Amore
By Janet Peterson

Readers: Please write a paragraph or two about one of your family’s holiday food traditions and what it means to your family. You could also include a recipe. E-mail via editorial@meridianmagazine.com or janet@mmmind.com. December’s article will feature family food traditions.

There’s a secret ingredient in really good food that can’t be found on any grocery shelf, can’t be ordered on the Internet, and can’t be boxed, packaged, or wrapped. That secret ingredient is love.

Marian Getz, the executive pastry chef at the Wolfgang Puck Café in Lake Buena Vista, Florida, puts in a full day cooking at the restaurant but doesn’t stop there. She keeps on cooking at home for her husband, two teen-age sons, and often the boys’ friends.

She says, “I love nurturing and caring and feeding my family.” She also loves to share food with others and frequently makes big batches or doubles recipes to give away. “My best personal tip,” Marian says, “is to cook with love.”¹

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Pillsbury’s old slogan “Nothin’ says lovin’ like somethin’ from the oven” has a lot of truth to it. Cooking for one’s family is an act of love and service, whether the “somethin’“ comes from the stove top, the slow-cooker, wok, or grill. Artist-entrepreneur Mary Engelbreit (whose husband does the cooking in their home), states, “There is nothing more nurturing to a family and friends than a meal that is lovingly prepared and presented.”²

Cooking for the family really is an expression of love because it’s giving of your time and energy. Cheryl Mendelson, author of Home Comforts, wrote: “The emotional comfort of home cooking for children is something every parent discovers. Sharing meals with the children in the privacy of your home, meals that you have prepared, reinforces your authority and beneficence in their eyes and helps increase their trust and pride in you and your abilities. You have the skill and knowledge to offer them good things; you take time and trouble for them.”³

Some people earn their living cooking. Still, preparing food at a restaurant, café, or fast food stop is a job. Many chefs get immense satisfaction (and a considerable reputation) from the creativity and effort they invest in their careers. They work very hard to present delectable dishes to please customers. They may love their jobs, but they probably don’t know you and don’t love you or your family. They get paid for the time they spend in their respective kitchens — some very well. Most short-order and fast-food cooks probably don’t get paid much more than minimum wage, have very little creative input, and aren’t doing their jobs because they love you and yours.

When you cook for those you love, you also get paid — but not with dollars or other tangible commodities. Compliments are one form of payment.

Other rewards are healthy family members, family unity, good memories, and joy in each other’s company. 

It is hard, perhaps, at the moment to envision what long-term benefits will accrue for the investment made in time, energy, and effort in gathering the family around the dinner table. But like a bank account slowly accruing interest, the influence on family members will, nevertheless, be great.

According to Brigham Young University sociology professor Bruce Chadwick, eating dinner together allows parents to keep tabs on their children’s activities and behavior. He observed, “It’s really not surprising that having regular family meals together can make a difference in the lives of children … It sends a signal to the kids that their parents love them and care about them … There is a lot of good that comes from meals together … It’s the mom and dad showing that they care.“⁴

Parents want their children to know that they are important and cherished and find many, many ways to express that love. Eating together is a simple way to show love and because we eat daily; it can be a consistent reinforcer.

“The act of cooking for others, making dishes they especially like and sharing your own favorites, is an act of love. It says to those we cook for that we revere and bless them for being part of our lives,”⁵ said Art Smith, Oprah Winfrey’s personal chef and author of Back to the Table: The Reunion of Food and Family.

Cook for those you love — your family — con amore.

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