I Can’t Cook: There’s A Snake in My Kitchen!
By Janet Peterson

Late one summer afternoon I walked into my kitchen to start dinner preparations, and there on the kitchen countertop was a black and gray snake!  At first I thought someone in my family was playing a joke on me by placing a rubber snake next to the sink, but when the snake slithered along the white tile, raised its head, and flicked its tongue, I knew the creature had ventured there by himself. I shrieked, and my son came running to my rescue. Greg heroically disposed of the snake (but not before taking a picture of our intruder).  After I called my husband to tell him about our visitor and then sanitized the countertop, I refocused on dinner for our family.

Not everyone has such an excuse for shying out of the kitchen at dinner time, but here are the Top Ten Excuses for Not Cooking Dinner:

1. It’s a huge amount of work, for which no one seems to be grateful.
2. My children don’t like my cooking.
3. I despise cooking.
4. It costs more than eating dinner out.
5. There’s never any one home to eat.
6. I’m doing family history (or whatever).
7. I cooked for 25 years; now I’m retired from cooking.
8. I choose not to cook.
9. I don’t have time.
10. I’m too tired.

Happily, there are antidotes for each of these excuses.  Here they are:

1. It’s a huge amount of work, for which no one seems to be grateful.

Creating a Thanksgiving feast is a huge amount of work, but cooking everyday dinners doesn’t have to take that much effort. Planning and shopping ahead and using simple and quick recipes help will reduce the amount of stress on and effort by the family cook.

When a family member expresses thanks for a great meal, that’s wonderful. But cooking with any expectation of gratitude is probably an exercise in frustration. As with most aspects of parenting, gratitude from children usually comes when they’re grown and have to do the work themselves. Your kids will eventually say, “Thanks, Mom, for cooking dinner for us.  It was a meaningful part of growing up in our family.”

2. My children don’t like my cooking.

Some children can be very picky eaters. I had one of them. When I asked this young son what his favorite foods were so that I could prepare them, he responded, “I don’t know.”  Most children can give better answers than that and will be excited if you cook their favorites some of the time.

Sit down with your family and go through cookbooks and food magazines (which always have appetizing photos), and ask each person to select a meal that looks good to him.

Try new recipes. If the majority of the family likes that dish, put that in your “make again” file. If it is rejected, don”t bother fixing it again. There are millions of recipes from which to choose.  They can’t hate all of them.

Spend a week or two improving your cooking skills and pay attention to detail when preparing recipes. Also, presentation can make a difference is how food is perceived.  Serving mashed potatoes in a pretty bowl is far more appealing than just putting the pot on the table. A table set with placemats and nice dishes is far more inviting than using mismatched plastic ware at the bar.

3. I despise cooking.

There are some household tasks that are not my favorite things to do. Mopping the kitchen floor is one of them. Yet I know it needs to be done. Just facing up to the fact that I can do it, knowing that it won’t kill me to do so, and enjoying the reward of a clean floor prompt me to get out the mop and start working.

Cooking dinner is a household task that needs to be done. Like it or not, you signed up for it when you became a spouse or a parent.  Understanding the purpose of how gathering the family together around the dinner table can significantly strengthen your family should change your attitude from despising cooking to viewing it as an opportunity not to be missed. Doing something well generates feelings of satisfaction, whereas doing something poorly is discouraging. Develop some expertise in various areas of cooking. Learn to make great green salads, well-grilled salmon, or superb brownies. Cooking will then become rewarding as your abilities progress.

4. It costs more to eat at home than eating dinner out.

Not! When you eat out, you’re adding to the profit margin of the restaurant where you choose to eat. You’re paying for their real estate, facilities, labor, and operations. If you’re eating anyplace that’s not fast food, you also are paying at least a 15% tip.

According to Consumer Reports, Americans are spending a billion dollars a day on food outside the home – more than $800 a year for each man, woman, and child. Multiply that figure by the number of family members and the cost really adds up.

One family in Salt Lake City kept track of what they spent on fast food alone. They were astonished by how much their eating habits cost and decided to forego fast foods for a whole year. The mother said, “Besides saving money, there are a lot of side benefits,” such as spending more time together and eating healthier foods.

For someone who has never cooked, cooking a meal at home would be costly because she would have to completely stock her pantry.  If she doesn’t even have basic supplies and ingredients such as flour and baking powder in her cabinets, she is going to have to buy some of the basics in order to be able to do much in her kitchen. There’s economy in having a well-stocked larder and refrigerator so that each meal cooked doesn’t require major shopping.

5. No one is ever home to eat.

Gathering the family together at dinnertime is the biggest challenge today’s cook faces. Confer with your family about making dinner at home a higher priority. Invite, encourage, and even insist that your family eat together more often than they do. And, “If you cook it well, they will come.”

6. I’m doing family history (or whatever).

One mother was so immersed in working on family history that she quit cooking. She did buy a case of canned pasta that her teenage son was expected to warm up for himself. Fortunately, the next door neighbors invited him to dinner most nights. Sadly, this mother was only looking to the past.

While there are a myriad number of good causes in which to be involved, the immediate family should be the highest priority. Dinner time is an opportune moment in the day in which the whole family can connect with each other.

7. I cooked for 25 years; now I’m retired from cooking.

When a woman I met several years ago heard the title of my cookbook, Remedies for the “I Don’t Cook” Syndrome, she immediately responded that she had cooked for 25 years, but now that the children were gone, she had quit cooking. Her husband, standing by her, did not seem to share her enthusiasm for this “retirement.”  In fact, he quipped, “Those were the good old days.”

Even for empty nesters, eating is still necessary.   No matter how old you are and what your situation in life, dinnertime still comes around every 24 hours. Cooking for two or one is easier than for a crowd. Plus there are the advantages of cooking all those foods you and your spouse love, but that your kids shunned. Dinner table conversation can be what you two wish to talk about. Going out to eat is a nice change, but making it a nightly event is not a healthy practice.  This is especially true for people middle age and older, who need to be more careful with diet and nutrition.

8. I choose not to cook.

Life is a series of choices, and we as Latter-day Saints firmly believe in the principle of agency. However, choosing not to cook is a poor choice and has an enormous impact on the quality of a family’s home life as well as their physical and emotional well-being.

9. I don’t have time.

I believe that most people pretty much do the things they really want to. People who love to play golf find time to play golf, but those not enamored of the game think spending three to four hours on a golf course is a waste of time. People who want to play a musical instrument devote countless hours to practicing. People who value eating dinner together as a family do find time to cook.

Cooking fast and easy meals doesn’t require a lot of time. Life today is busy. Time is a very precious commodity for most families who have school, activities, church responsibilities, and jobs.

Perhaps starting dinner preparations in the morning or midday during less busy hours than 5:00 p.m., or even the night before, can ease the time crunch. Doubling recipes and freezing for later use is also helpful.  Enlisting various family members to take a turn or help with dinner works well for many families.

10. I’m too tired.

Women’s many endeavors, whether it be taking care of small children, keeping a home running smoothly, working, volunteering, exercising, helping and chauffeuring older children, or something else, can be energy depleting and even exhausting. Yet cooking dinner regularly for the family is so significant that it might be well to adjust other activities to be able to do it. Again, simplifying meal preparation is most helpful.

Attitude can make a big difference in how one feels toward any venture. For many people, cooking is a complete change of activity. It can be a respite form the outside world. Puttering in the kitchen can be a creative, sensory, renewing, rewarding, fun (sometimes humorous), relaxing, or shared experience. Eating good food can perk up a tired body and soul.

Utilize all that energy of children and have them help with dinner – peeling potatoes or carrots, setting the table, making a salad, cleaning up.  At appropriate ages, you can even give them responsibility for cooking the whole dinner.

There – no more snakes in the kitchen!